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Dads small cell cancer

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User

Posted 11 Jul 2015 at 17:42

I despair, I really do.

What kind of freaks do you work with/for?

Good luck, Hope you hear soon about the new job.

PS
If you have been rostered for 40 hours shifts and your contract is currently 19 surely they are breaking the contract (unless of course, you have agreed to do it)
Even at 30 hours contract they are exceeding that by 10 hours.

What goes round , comes round. I wonder what their reactions would be in the same situation.

Two wrongs don't make a right but sometimes it is easy to wish others in your shoes.

Good luck, keep strong
Johsan

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 11 Jul 2015 at 22:15

thanks Johsan i am beginng to wonder where to start.I never envisaged being in such a dreadful place tbh(company changed hands).I have stated that Dad is quite unwell too so its not an oversight nor my fault a few people have left.I will have to speak up for myself as the guy who rotared me father passed away from prostate cancer a few yrs before so he knows exactly how hard my life isSomeone told me they use me as they know i will help anyone....not anymore :) Dad would love it if i could leave my present job.

User

Posted 12 Jul 2015 at 22:06

Goodness Paula this is just such a hard situation for you, I really do feel for you on the one hand having to stay employed for your family and on the other wishing that you could spend more time with your lovely Dad. I wish I could offer some magic wand to help.

Thinking of you.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 12 Jul 2015 at 22:30

well apparently i mustnt emotionally blackmail people to cover as one woman offered then back tracked and i had to do it!!I could just leave be bored off my wits and live off savings but i wanted to stay employed to see me through when Dad is no longer here as i love working and my husband doesnt do overtime since his heart attack.such a hard situation tbh xx

User

Posted 14 Jul 2015 at 04:42

update..spoke to Dad who has been quite ill for a couple of days.My husband said he seemed fine sat when he popped in to see if they needed anything.Dad said he could barely stay awake and felt too exhausted to ask for help,He said he was shivery and aching and thought it was the cancer and not a bug.I
didnt get home until gone midnight but my husband said the doctor was seeing him today.I hate to hear him so frail and defeated when he was always such a fighter and so positive.I hope today they can help him in some way or reassure him and Mum as she is there 24 /7 with him,bye for now xxx

User

Posted 14 Jul 2015 at 04:48

morning cookiegirl.

its a tough time for you cannot imagine what goes off in your head, the only decisions are always the correct ones, still got my fingers crossed you can get things sorted out to suit everyone

nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 14 Jul 2015 at 07:39

Ah Trish, that's a shame.
When you have long term ongoing pain and discomfort it can be very debilitating and tiring.

I do hope the doc can sort him out and reassure him and you.

Chin up girl, keep strong.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 14 Jul 2015 at 09:14

Paula

I am so sorry I have not replied sooner, there is litte I can say to help about your employer who really is taking horrendous advantage of you, especially if he has recently been through this. Not someone I think I would like. I just hope you can resolve the issues there or find a better job with a more considerate employer when the time seems right.

Your Dad will be going through a lot just now, not just physically from the cancer but also mentally. I was totally unprepared for the mental anguish Mick had built up over a period of time and had bottled up inside. Mainly because he was afraid of upsetting me or Karen by sharing all of it with either or both of us. He was always quite open about things so I thought he had always told me everything. He did find talking with the pastoral care Lady at the hospice a big help. In fact that is what enabled him to eventually talk with me about all his worries and concerns so we could figure out how they could be addressed.

It was shortly after that we had our big long chat with the Palliative care consultant (as mentioned in my thread about the elephants). Prior to all of this he was also really weary and tired, any emotional distress is tiring but when compounded by the physical strees of cancer it can be overwhelming.

Maybe your GP will suggest things that might help mentally as well as medically.

My very best wishes to you and your family

User

Posted 14 Jul 2015 at 10:29

Thank you i agree he isnt the person he was and i cant blame him.The toll of treatment and endless hospital appointments then being told no more can be done and there is a limit to his time must be awful.Having always been active and doing so much for others it must be so hard not being able to physically do things.Yes i hate going on about my work but i told them about Dad yesterday then they proceed to shout at me for something trivial not what u need on a 14 hr very busy day(luckily it took my mind off dad).you wouldnt like him no one does! Dad was always the stronger one though Mum has been amazing really.
I am so sorry youve been through this with Mick i think men do protect others feelings with a stiff upper lip and all that.I hope the GP can help today take care Paula xx

User

Posted 14 Jul 2015 at 15:53

Dads on antibiotics and has a chest xray tomorrow to rule anything out on his cough xx

User

Posted 14 Jul 2015 at 21:03

Hope work has calmed down and they are being more supportive. Lets hope dad's cough is simply that,

Lots of love

Allison xxx

User

Posted 16 Jul 2015 at 14:44

Dads had a blood test too and still feels exhausted.
I managed to facebook my cousin who told his Dad so my uncle and wife popped in theirs today.I made some lovely sandwiches and tea and cake and they had a lovely catch up.They had been meaning to visit but didnt know what to say ! Dad and his brother were talking about childhood hols.Next week his sister is coming over to see him for the first time in many months as he hasnt felt up to company or fuss.lovely to see them all i only wish it wasnt in these circumstances. xxx

User

Posted 16 Jul 2015 at 18:18

That's sweet. It's good that dad is catching up with his family.

I'm sure they all take into consideration that dad may get tired but it must be lovely for him to be able to reminisce.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 08:36

Paula,
my heart goes out to you for what you are having to cope with, lets hope you hear soon about that new job, that should save some of the nastiness.

God Bless.

Chris.

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 11:58

Thank you both and one problem has been solved the Gp signed me off with stress related headaches.Getting home 1230 pm after working with 3 people instead of 5 and having my hrs doubled while watching Dad suffer for months he insisted i spent the time with Dad.(now im worried i wont be allowed time when he goes but i will cross that bridge in the future)!.I have an excellent attendance record.
Dad told my sis it hurts the bones in his shoulders just to wear a jacket which is heartbreaking and i hope the nurses give him better pain relief though he did admit he is sick of pills and their side effects.
Dad is so lovely im sure if any of you met him you would agree i wouldnt wish his suffering this yr on anyones Dad ,partner or brother.
I hope i NEVER treat anyone with the lack of compassion ive been shown at work although i know people find cancer hard to talk about .Thank goodness for sites like these and amazing people like yourselves dispensing advice while caring or going through this yourselves. love to you all Paula xx

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 12:21

"Allowed time when he goes"??????? Allowed !!

It is called compassionate leave and I'm sure must be written into your company rule book.
I'm sure when it's immediate family it is a right not a concession, I'd like to think so any way.

Thank goodness your GP sees your need.

I'm very sure that with a great supportive daughter who cares enough to say "I love my dad" your dad must be a lovely chap.

Concentrate now on the time left with your dad. Forget the morons at work

Edited by member 17 Jul 2015 at 12:22 | Reason: Not specified

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 17 Jul 2015 at 15:18

I don't think some people understand the word compassion. Very sad. Thank goodness you've got a supportive GP.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 09:01

Hi Paula,

I just wanted to send my love and best wishes at this difficult time.

I'm saddened everyday hearing about people's actions that don't seem have an ounce of compassion for others but then I realise there are far more good and kind people than those.

Steve x

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 10:36

Dad has been sent to A and E for antibiotic drip and they think he peaked an infection last week when he couldnt get out of bed and was shaking and shivery.He seems to be getting them every 2 weeks now with temps of 102.He felt well enough to buy bread today so we are hopeful it maybe a good week end for him.Oncologist nurse said his immunity is still low,love to everyone xx

User

Posted 18 Jul 2015 at 12:01

He must be careful not to over do it on the basis of how much better he feels.

Hope you all have a good weekend anyway, perhaps building memories

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

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