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Each day a challenge

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User

Posted 03 Aug 2020 at 21:49

so - a worrying day. After a rough few days of deteriorating health and new symptoms, G was taken to hospital alone as no visitors allowed. Macmillan nurse had suggested possible spinal chord compression.

He had had an mri and an xray and I guess we will know more tomorrow. He is on a nebuliser and steroids and they hope to raise potassium levels.

Hoping for the best now. Sleeping in my own bed for the first time since March. Feel pretty tired so off to sleep now.

Edited by member 03 Aug 2020 at 21:49 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 04 Aug 2020 at 10:02

Hope you managed a reasonable sleep and that G is more comfortable. My thoughts are with you both.

Ido4

User

Posted 06 Aug 2020 at 12:29

update - three days in hospital following infection and recurrence of kidney failure so another nephrostomy done.

Now so frail, he is due home this afternoon for care at home with support of community nurses etc. The NHS have pulled out all the stops to get him home - can't praise them enough.

I think it will be bed from now on as too weak to be up for long.

User

Posted 06 Aug 2020 at 14:54

My thoughts are with you. Keep talking.

Sending strength xx

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User

Posted 06 Aug 2020 at 19:53

Thinking of you both.

Ido4

User

Posted 06 Aug 2020 at 20:37

Thank you to you all for your kind wishes. We have had such good care today - two community carers to attend to personal needs and get him comfortable and two district nurses to attend to a couple of medical issues which cropped up and the offer of help if I need it during the night.

These are the unsung heroes of the nhs - the ones who are there for the elderly,infirm and terminally ill at all times and who are pleasant and caring even though they must get tired themselves.

I can't believe how good everybody has been but I feel desperately sad for G who has to depend on people for absolutely everything.

All I can say to everyone is to enjoy every moment of their lives, to do all those mad things you want to do and love life and your families.

We did enjoy things and I think that poor G is unlucky to reach this stage before he is ready. We can't understand it and there is that big question - if covid hadn't come and if he had had all his chemotherapy treatment would it be any different?

We will never know but this pandemic has caused sorrow in many different ways.

User

Posted 08 Aug 2020 at 22:43

I have to report that my darling G passed peacefully, early this morning. We had only two nights at home and he gradually became worse, seeing and hearing people who weren't there and worrying constantly about things still to do, so that he could not sleep.

Eventually, last night, after almost half hourly sips of water and little bits of food, he fell into a deep sleep and he just slipped away as I went to him.

There is no measure to my feelings of sadness, but my children have been wonderful.

Now the rest of my life will be a challenge to live life without him.

User

Posted 08 Aug 2020 at 22:50

I am so sorry Gillyflower, this was such a rapid decline. All I can wish you is a little more of the strength you have already shown to see you through the coming days and weeks. Take good care of yourself - G must have been so proud of you xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 08 Aug 2020 at 22:52

So sorry to read this. Condolences to you and family.

User

Posted 08 Aug 2020 at 23:19

My condolences. It has been hard reading this thread over the last few weeks. The inevitable end which has now sadly arrived. These last few months were tough for you. Of course whether it is a cancer or something else we will all share the same fate eventually, so we just have to make the best of our time whilst we are here. I think you and G did well together for a long time. With the support of your friends and family you will get through. Thank you for keeping this little community informed at this very trying time for you.... Hugs

Dave

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 04:36

I am so sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you and you family.

barbara x

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 04:53

Really sad to hear of your families rapid loss Gilly. There is no easy way , or no non-heartbreaking way , but the rapid decline could be a blessing in disguise xx

Thinking of you x

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 06:57

Thank you everyone. It has helped to have a place to write down feelings and to share but I hope I haven't made it harder for those you still suffer from this disease. Many people recover and live a lot longer and we have to believe that one day there will be a complete cure.

We lived with cancer for almost ten years and through it all we always hoped we could keep it at bay with each new treatment.

What makes it hard is that we shielded from covid for many months and missed precious time we could have used outside the house while G was still mobile and able to do things himself.

This morning, the sun is streaming in and I know I go down to an empty house. I have been grieving for many days as I watched him slipping away from me and I have grieved before but this is different. This time I am more than lonely - I have faith and I hope he is with old friends and reunited with our dog again.

Wishing everyone a safe and happy Sunday. Keep living life to the full and treat every moment as a special gift.

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 07:08

So sorry to hear of your loss, please accept my sincere condolences.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 07:26

I am so sorry to read your sad news, I hope you can latch onto all the good memories.

i for one thank you for sharing everything you did as it is helping me come to terms with what will be one day in my world.

condolenses to you and your family.

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 07:40

Very sorry to hear your sad news. As a new comer to this forum please know that your posts are very welcome.

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 09:27

I am so sorry to read this Gillyflower. You have been so strong, sending my condolences to you and your family.

Ido4

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 10:17

So sorry for your loss Gillyflower cherish the memories you made together and look after yourself.

Cheers

Bill

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 11:59

So sorry to read this, you have been strong, loving and gave G. all the love and care, you area special lady.

Take care of yourself.

Leila x

User

Posted 09 Aug 2020 at 13:42

Gilly, so sorry for your loss. I read your updates and could feel that I knew the two of you - painful though it is, thank-you for posting. My thoughts are with you and your family.

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