Hi everyone.
The challenge goes on but now it is mine alone. I miss my dear G so much but am getting through each day somehow, sometimes crying but able to have conversations with people without breaking down every time.
I try to think of happy times but still have images in my mind of his last days and feel robbed of the time he was in hospital. I feel angry he was put through so much when we all knew he had little time left.
I know it is normal to feel these things and nothing can change anything now.
All I can say to all, is to cherish every moment with your loved one, and try to stay strong.
I have a strange compulsion to see how you are all doing and thank you all. I will slowly let go of this community too.
I have no specific role now - no longer a wife or carer and struggling to think of myself as a widow. I am still Mum and grandma and will find myself a another role in time. For now it is enough to get through each day and to carry on my dear G 's kindness and love for others.