My Dad keeps getting blocked...help!!

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 05:45

Chris,

I am so sorry to read that your Dad passed away this morning. My sincere condolences to you and your family. I'm glad that you were all there for him at the end. Stay strong for the times ahead and look after yourselves.

Best wishes,

John

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 06:39

Chris my condolences to you all. Thanks so much for sharing the story and just how much love your dad was surrounded by at the end. It's been warming whilst obviously heart breaking.
Thinking of you

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 06:45

So sorry to hear that Dad has passed away,please accept my condolences. Don't bottle up those emotions,let them out. Nice that you were all there for Dad and remember to look after each other.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 07:04

Chris,

Condolences to you and your family at this sad time.

Keep strong and Keep Right On...

KRO..

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 08:11

Sorry for your loss Chris, but no more pain and suffering now.

Thinking of you and your family at this sad time. XX

********

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 11:02

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. Please accept my sincerest condolences.

Remember the love you had for each other will never die - that will last for ever,

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 16:39

My sincere condolences to you and your family. You did all that you could and your dad was surrounded by his family at the end. Take care of yourselves in the weeks and months to come.

Rosy x

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 17:05

You are so kind.

I stepped out of the room at the very end as I didn't want to see my dad take his last breaths. the last 2 days were traumatic to describe as I watched dad.

I didn't cry after my dad died as I see my role as making everyone laugh.

I got back to mums after driving home and I was almost physically sick.

We've been at home and popped down to this lovely village pub for some wine and more back home.

So many of my friends and brothers friends have said what an amazing man he was.

Its so up and down at the moment

I need to cry a lot but I've been putting a brave face on to make everyone laugh

Deep breaths everyone

Edited by member 23 Jul 2016 at 17:06 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 17:33

Well Stokesy, brave faces have their place in the scheme of things and you have your family to think of BUT you are also important so don't forget that.

Dad must have been a lovely man to have so many people saying what an amazing person he was. That is his legacy to you and how his memory lives on in others.

You will eventually grieve and it will eventually pass, however, your memories of him will never leave you. You are the person you are because that's what he made you.

Thinking of you.

Sandra

*******

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 17:44

So sorry to hear of your loss, your dad sounds like he was a good man and very well loved, you have done him so proud please take care in the weeks to come

Viv x

Edited by member 24 Jul 2016 at 05:04 | Reason: Not specified

The only time you should look back is to see how far you have come

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 20:09

Hi Chris,

I have followed your journey for quite some time and just want to add my condolences to your family . There is no right and wrong way to grieve the book hasn't been written . If you have read any of my posts you will know that my sense of humour is legendary , if you want to make others laugh then so be it . The only way to handle grief is the way you handle grief it is so personal . I would just say keep on being you.

My thoughts are with you

BFN

JulieX

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 24 Jul 2016 at 20:45

Hope you don't mind me sharing, but the link below shows my lovely dad doing what he did best and that was talking a lot. This was for St Helena Hospice. My dad Geoff is sitting on the left as you watch

https://youtu.be/2vEkkNuDGJA

User

Posted 24 Jul 2016 at 21:02

Thanks so much for sharing. How lovely to see your dad and his fellow sufferers chatting. I especially loved the bit where one of them says, "we talk trivia and other stuff". That's what day hospice is all about. Also them talking about playing with a balloon made me smile out loud!

Keep your happy memories and I think with this short video, you will have done loads for the case for using a Hospice before the end comes too close. We have used our day hospice and it was a life saver when John was so poorly a couple of years back.

Much love

Devonmaid xxx

User

Posted 24 Jul 2016 at 21:13

Thank you for sharing.

He (they) look like they've enjoyed each others company and gained a lot in the process

********

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 24 Jul 2016 at 21:17

As Viv said, you have done your Dad proud ! Now time to look after yourself, dont be afraid to grieve and let your emotions out especially after holding it together for so long. Sending my love and condolences,

Fiona. x

User

Posted 25 Jul 2016 at 05:51

Chris,

Thank you for posting the link. Great to have seen both the friendship and positive attitude shown by your Dad and others.

Take good care of yourself and have a cry whenever you wish to. You've been through a lot and were obviously very close to your Dad. No father could have had a better son.

John

User

Posted 25 Jul 2016 at 20:41

Today I came back to Colchester with my wife and children to see mum and nanny.

My daughter Emily 9 is really upset as she had a special bond with grandad.

I went with mum and brother to the hospice today and of course they were lovely and gave us some forms etc.

We are registering dads death on Wednesday which was recorded as Prostate cancer.

The funeral directors came to mums and we choose a coffin, she asked if dad was to wear anything special.... My brother suggested a toga!!!!

There's still plenty of humour!

She said she would give him a shave and do his hair, we suggested a perm.... She doesn't know he's pretty much bald.

Have been sitting quietly tonight with mum and my wife and we still find it difficult to believe dads gone.

Sometimes I'm fine and I think things are okay, then when it's quiet and I think whats happened I just feel so sad my dads not around I really can't believe it.

Anyway mums camping in the garden with my children William 6 and Emily 9 tonight which she'll regret at 6am

We have chosen Fly me to the moon by Frank Sinatra as dads exit music and a song Adele sung make you feel my love which the nurse sang whilst playing the piano the day dad floated away.

We've chosen sun flowers for his coffin and we are going to take pots from his garden with flowers and line them up as you enter the church.

Dad said I gave him and mum lots of laughs so I just need to make sure I do him justice at the service.... I like an audience but this might be a hard one to crack!

Thanks for reading

Chris

User

Posted 25 Jul 2016 at 21:10

Chris sorry to,hear of your great loss, it was good that you were all with him at the end.

You have said that you have not shed a tear yet and I can equate to that as when my mother passed away, after her battle with lung cancer, I felt the need to be strong for my brothers and my step father as we were with her at the end in the hospice and I did not cry until about three months after. I fought the tears at her funeral, I wanted to cry but forced myself not to, I look back now and wish I had let go of my emotions sooner.

Make time for yourself to grieve but at the same time I am sure you will be supportive for all of your family.

Thanks for the lovely sentiments written from the heart. Your dad must have been so proud of you and I am sure Your mum is too.

My thoughts are with you all at this time of sadness.

Chris/Woody

Life seems different upside down, take another viewpoint

User

Posted 25 Jul 2016 at 21:43

Chris,

Absolutly love your choice of music for your dad, I often end my posts with a song and I think it says so much about the people we are. Your dad would be so proud of you . Perhaps more than most I somehow get your emotions , it is ok to find humour in such sad circumstances it doesn't mean you are not hurting . Honestly I think your dad knows your personality and would be so proud and so happy with you just being you.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 25 Jul 2016 at 21:45

You sound like a chip off your dad's block.

Don't worry about the funeral and how it will go. I'm sure you'll all be there, being strong for your mum and each other.

Death isn't the end. Dad might not be there physically but he'll pop up time after time I know from experience.

Next time you hear that Adele song on the radio it will take your breath away and make you sad, but it will also make you think of your dad and how special he was.

There are always sad memories to go with the happy/glad ones. There isn't anything we can do about that except bear them when they happen. It does get easier over time, really it does. That sharp pain becomes less sharp, more of a dull ache. Eventually you will be able to think of your dad with sadness but no pain.

Your little girl will need special support. Our grandson found my father's death very traumatic. Perhaps have a word with her school and warn them. I know it's currently the holidays but she'll grieve for a while yet. Does the school have a counsellor, most seem to these days.

Stay strong for a little while longer. Grieve when you can

Best Wishes to all of you

Sandra

******

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

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