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My Dad keeps getting blocked...help!!

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User

Posted 06 Jul 2016 at 20:49

Sadly, it is more often an infection that brings the final days rather than the actual cancer. For some, it is simply the organs that close down one after another, almost as if the person is leaving us bit by bit. I hope that dad rallies, even for a short while, so that you can gather just a few more memories but even if he doesn't, keep talking. Tell him the things that are in your heart, talk about happy times in the past, describe your day and what's in the news. End of life specialists say that hearing is the last sense we lose so he will hear your voice and feel reassured by it even if he doesn't join in the conversation. We played mum's favourite CDs on loop - long after she had stopped actually talking, she was still mouthing along with the songs and it still makes me smile to remember those moments.

You are on my mind

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 06 Jul 2016 at 21:04

Thanks for keeping in touch, sorry to hear it is not better news. Good to know your are there for Dad, thinking of you.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 06 Jul 2016 at 22:16

Hi stokesy

I'm sorry to read of your dad's struggles. Hope he responds to the antibiotics. Thinking of you.

Take care.

Lesley x

User

Posted 07 Jul 2016 at 16:32

Thinking of you. Priority is for Dad to be as comfortable as possible. Glad you are able to be there for him. Regards,

Fiona.

User

Posted 07 Jul 2016 at 19:13

I feel for you, it's a difficult time in all your lives. As Zarissa says, it's most important that your dad is made as comfortable as possible. We talked happy talk to both of our parents in their last days, it made them smile to know how much we'd enjoyed the life they gave us.

Thinking of you

Love Devonmaid xxxx

User

Posted 07 Jul 2016 at 21:55

Thank you for your kind responses.

I went to see Dad today and what a difference 24 hour's has made.

He was so much better today although still uncomfortable he was talking and eating his food.

I'm so happy to have had a chat with dad

I had written a letter to him I didn't want to read it as I found it too difficult. Mum read it to dad while I was in the hospice garden. Dad really got upset when I went to to see him but he was so happy to hear what I said in the letter. He said he'd pin it to heaven's wall if he could.

I think he's all been having us on as he actually phoned on his mobile to speak to Mum which was more surprising tonight.

I'm back to see him Saturday afternoon so I'm hoping that he can stabilise how he is.

He said to me that his life is being cut short

Having to make the most of the days and weeks with Dad .... hopefully month's

Edited by member 07 Jul 2016 at 21:58 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 11 Jul 2016 at 20:51

Well I went to see Dad Saturday and Sunday and he is more with it, they are looking at tweaking his pain relief.

Looks like the infections under control and he is eating well so that's positive. It's really difficult predicting what's next but Mum said he was much better today.

Sometimes I feel like he's having us on😃😃😃!

User

Posted 11 Jul 2016 at 21:44

That's brilliant news. I feared last week that you were simply seeing the little rally that so many patients have just before the end. Very happy for you that dad is actually improving - enjoy x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 11 Jul 2016 at 21:53

People are amazing, on Friday I had the call to say that my sister had three infections, including pneumonia, a UTI and cellulitis and was out of options, she weighs less than six stone. Sunday, she's bright as a button and they are talking of sending her home.

So pleased to hear that your dad has done the seemingly impossible and turned things around, it's fantastic news.

Lots of love

Devonmaid

User

Posted 19 Jul 2016 at 04:58

It now seems that Dad is starting to drift away. I was at the hospice Sunday and yesterday and he is very sleepy and disorientated. He's on a lot of pain relief so he isn't in any discomfort. I just sit holding my dads hand but it feels like we are approaching the end.

I laugh and joke about this situation and make a light of it all the time dad is still with us but it's difficult to imagine what its going to be like not to have my dad to speak to about trivial things.

I'm in the hospice today with my mum and brothers and just hope dad is a bit more with it.

I look at my dad lying asleep in his bed and it's just so sad.

I contacted one of his old work colleagues who he he spent a lot of time with and he visited him yesterday and he was so upset seeing dad when he left. It shows what a man dad is I suppose that he has made such a mark on peoples lives.

I hope that dad is going to be sitting up reading the paper or his gardening magazine when I arrive but I know that won't be the case.

Sad times

User

Posted 19 Jul 2016 at 06:35

Your post brings back memories of my Mum's passing, thinking of you and your family.

Thanks Chris

User

Posted 19 Jul 2016 at 08:21

It's very sad but people near the end do sometimes rally for a few days, which is such a blessing. I'm so sorry to hear that dad is so weak. You are doing brilliantly and keeping your dad amused with jokes and laughter, even if he cannot share it, is the right thing to do.

I'm so pleased he seems to be reasonably comfortable and that the hospice was there for him. I often wonder what I'll do when my hubby gets to that stage, I've left the thought open for him to be at home if he wishes but that may be dictated by the circumstances.

Thinking of you.

With love

Devonmaid xxxx

User

Posted 19 Jul 2016 at 08:28

Stokesy this is such a difficult time for everyone.

The end is getting closer but he is at lest comfortable and pain free.

All you can do is carry on as you are. Be as cheerful as you can in his company, hold his hand and tell him you love him and thank him for having been such an amazing dad. He'll hear you even if he doesn't respond.

Thinking of you and wishing you strength

All the best

Sandra

*******

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 19 Jul 2016 at 10:21

Thanks very much everyone

I went in with my brothers this morning and he has perked up more than yesterday and we were talking and making each other laugh and get the giggles.

Dads quite muddled which makes him mis hear us and so he says funny things which although is sad me and brothers pick him up on it and ask what he's going on about which we found funny

We asked if he remembered who visited him yesterday.... He told Anthea did!

He doesn't know an Anthea so we all found that amusing

Its a lovely sunny day and the garden at the hospice here in Colchester is amazing

We'll keep on smiling with him

User

Posted 20 Jul 2016 at 16:45

Dads very withdrawn now and muddled

He's drinking very little and eating even less. They've stopped all medicines just on pain relief.

Yesterday his bed was pushed outside and the hospice staff bought out Pimms and cake which we all had, even dad had a sip.

As I write this he is asleep and there is a little dog asleep on his bed.

I kind of just want this to end now as dad emotionally checked out.

User

Posted 21 Jul 2016 at 07:10

Hello Stokesy,

I was sad to read your post but was expecting it.

I can understand that you feel now that dad has had enough. I remember sitting by my mothers bed at home when she was in a coma and telling her it was alright to go now.

IT's love that produces those thoughts - not selfishness, so never doubt yourself in how you feel.

Thinking of you and your family

********

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 21 Jul 2016 at 09:17

Thank-you.

Lastnight my 2 brothers our wives and mum all stayed in a family room with dad. It was funny as we were all trying to get comfortable on the sofas and just having a laugh. There was a punch and judy set so I performed a show with sooty and sweep!!!

I'm sure dad will hear this all going on in the background.

User

Posted 21 Jul 2016 at 09:55

very much thinking of you xxxx

User

Posted 21 Jul 2016 at 13:41

Thinking of you

Leila xxx

User

Posted 23 Jul 2016 at 04:24

My wonderful dad passed away at 3:40am.

He was surrounded by all of the us.

I love you dad xxx

Chris

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