I have just posted Erics last post

User

Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 22:53

Dear Carol, I am so sorry to read this and imagine how you must be feeling now.

You did so much, couldn't have done more and Eric knew this. I hope in time this gives you comfort, but in the difficult days ahead please try to accept any help you can, and try to get some rest and take care of yourself. It will be difficult to focus on you when your focus has been on caring for Eric for so long, and it will probably seem so pointless, but eventually there will be better days, until then take care, love Janet, x

User

Posted 22 Jul 2014 at 23:18

Thank you all what genuine people you all are I am so glad I picked this forum had looked at so many .But I was drawn to this one you put up with my terrible spelling julie my silly Scottish sayings and even put up with my vents.

I am sitting here and all I thinking I couldn't bring him round the whole thing is wrong on so many levels he was such a good husband and father he fought this pca with humour always said he takes his hat off to all you guys that have to have this journey for years on early dx he always admired your strength and to all you guys with being dx terminal and put on pallative care just like him he just said I know what they are feeling

Carol x

User

Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 04:27

Mo and Chris I have replied to your private emails thank you

Carol

User

Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 19:22

So sorry to see this Carol. Please accept my condolences to you and to Carolann.

You were obviously let down by some administration somewhere, but Eric did have the dignity of passing with someone who loved him dearly by his side. I hope this thought helps you through this difficult time.

User

Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 21:21

So sorry to hear the news of your husband's death. I know we have not talked on here but I have followed your story your husband's fight and the way you have fought for and supported him. I know his time was close but to be treated this way in his final moments is shocking.

But please don't let this spoil your last goodbye and your happy memories. Take comfort from your family and friends and the fact that he is not in pain and suffering any more and the end came quickly although maybe too quickly for you to be prepared.

God bless and look after yourself

Lorraine x

User

Posted 23 Jul 2014 at 22:41

So Sad http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-frown.gif R.I.P Eric ... you've gotta be strong now Carol , please stick around on the forums .

User

Posted 27 Jul 2014 at 17:29

Please accept my condolences weewifie.

I've been missing from the site for the past week as I went, together with my other sisters, to support my sister for the funeral of her husband.

I hope, once all this horror is far enough behind you to be nothing more than a dull aching memory, and that you and your family will look back and find solace in the man he was, the husband, the father, the soulmate. The friend

Best Wishes to you all.

Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 16:22

Hi Carol,

We assume that the funeral / cremation would be soon, and we both send our very heart felt prayers to you and the family at this very sad time, you are very much in our thoughts and prayers.

Chris and Shirley xxxx

User

Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 17:50

Carol,

I was so sorry to hear about Eric. You have always been so brave and loving. Don't let the anger you feel about the way you were both treated stop you remembering the love and happiness you both shared.

Love to you and Carolanne

User

Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 19:32

Carol, I guess you will not want to hear this right now but as devastating as that last day must have been for you, there will perhaps be a time in the future when you will be able to look back and thank God that Eric stayed with you at home on the kitchen floor for those few hours. If the day had unfolded slightly differently, if he hadn't just seen the GP that morning, the paramedics might have been obliged to take him to the hospital and your beloved Eric might have been subjected to a post mortem.

Cold comfort right now, I know, but I really believe that there are times when the human spirit can control destiny. Imagine Eric, so poorly, so breathless, but with enough strength to get home from the doctors and then once he was safe with you, allowing himself to let go.

My friend who is the chief exec of a hospice says there are those to hang on and on for a special visitor or an important date / anniversary and then slip away, while there are others who seem not to want to die in front of people and find the strength to wait for the moment when the family slips out for a break. I am so sad for you that Eric has been taken away so suddenly and in such traumatic circumstances but how wonderful to think of him being at home, his heart just knowing that he was safe in your arms and your voice being the last one he heard.

You are in my thoughts xxx

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 30 Jul 2014 at 22:06

Hi everyone thank you all for your post's private emails it does help. and such comfort. Well it's been hard but also with so many visitors there has been a lot good funny memories and with Eric.there has been many.

As I posted Eric was having trouble the week before and it was something Mo said that made me phone chemo nurse who said it sounded like a blood clott going to heart I was told this is quite common news to me .I called ambulance whilst on phone was told to give him 4asprin to chew at this point Eric is on loo he shouted how can I chew them I have no teeth in woman at the other end of phone asked are you sure he is unwell .Eric came home on the sunday,and the rest you know.

Eric's funeral will be tommorow(Thursday) he will come home at 10.30am the 20 bikers will be infront of him then all cars.I am a bit worried about Carolann she is going to be a polebearer as her dad said one of his regrets would be he couldn't walk her down the ailse so she will walk him down to the song Luthor Vandros Dance with my Father again.

Eric wanted certain things in his jacket pockets 2 combs picture of Carolann that was on his keyring Eric is not religous but he wanted a pack of playing cards in one pocket and roserybeads in the other playing it safe for up or down I know he will be going up he was a good man.

Carolann asked me to change his avatar she hated the one I used said it didn't look like her just reminded her of how ill he was.

We had a few of his old biker friends round and the story they love to tell is what happened at the Blue Angels rally Eric turned up in a blue dress shirt dress jeans and polished shoes in a muddy field with thousands of leather clad bikers think he stood out the boys went and bought him tee-shirt with the words WIFE FOR SALE !!!!

Hope we stay strong when Eric comes home just wish I could have a big hugg from him.

Carol xxx

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 06:38

Hi Carol,

Just a quick note to say that I hope all goes well today. It sounds like he will have a great send off and so he should. Try and stay strong if only for Carolann's sake.

I will be thinking of you both,

God Bless,

Love Barry ( alias Barrington )

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 06:41

Hi Carol,

We will be thinking of you today, it sounds a beautiful send off

Si xx

Don't deny the diagnosis; try to defy the verdict

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 07:52

Hi Carol,

Thinking of you all today, it sounds as if you have everything organised.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 08:18

Hi Carol, I will be thinking of you today, you have organised itt so well and it wiill be so personal and beautiful in a bitter sweet way. Love to you all. Janet, x

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 08:40

Carol

I will be thinking of you today, I am sure Carolann will do her Father, you and herself proud. My Karen was amazing at Mick's funeral.

It will be emotional but the huge sense of relief when the service is over can be quite overwhelming, I am sure all your family and friends will do everything they can to make it a wonderful send off.

Tonight I will have a glass of wine or two and toast to Eric and all our absent loved ones and then another to give fortitude to all those still fighting this horrid disease.

All my love

Mo xxx

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 09:06

Hope it goes well today. I will be thinking of you. I am attending another funeral today of someone who died of cancer four weeks post diagnosis and just 59. The world sometimes does not make sense.

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 10:45

Hi Carol, We hope all goes well for you today at the funeral and after, we shall be with you in thought. I'm sure there will be lots of support. Think of the UP side, and the fun that Eric gave you. He will be going UP anyway..... so good for the rosary beads!! The cards may come in handy later.....

Take care, both you and Carolann, and don't be afraid to ask for help afterwards. Someone will be listening.

Love Shirley xxxxx

Blessings and Hugs

PS. Remember ALL the good times, memories live on. Chris. xxxx

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 12:44

What a great send off, Carol. Hope you are surrounded by love at the funeral and for the times ahead,

Love, Fiona. x

User

Posted 31 Jul 2014 at 13:12

Only just read your posts Carol.

I'm so sorry to read your news any words I say wouldn't summon up how I felt when reading all of your posts. 😒

Hope today goes well. Eric's send off sounds amazing and so personal to him and his loved ones - just how it should be. 😊 the fact Carolann will be pallbearer and with such special music brought a lump to my throat; but oh so right and poignant.

Look after yourself now.

RIP Eric you were truly loved

Veronica

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