I'm interested in conversations about and I want to talk about
Know exactly what you want?
Show search

Notification

Error


Starting Over

User
Posted 05 Apr 2015 at 01:44
I made it to Atlanta after a gruelling 21 hour day of flights, waiting, time changes etc. Lovely to be with my family here and of course to go and say Hi to Mick by his tree. I do wish we could post photos on here so you could see how beautiful it is. I will send some to George and he can put them on B2PCa.

George you will be delighted to hear that my Nephew and Brother have pursuaded my Brother in Law to use the tickets they have as season tcket holders to go and watch the Black cats play the Magpies, Jen would have very much approved and will be rooting for another 4-1 thrashing. I half expect the wake party to be at the Miner's and workingmens club in Bowburn with meat and potato pies and pease pudding. Jen is having a Humanist fueral service with a woodland burial it wwill be right up her street as they say up North.

To all of you that have taken time to post and send me great advice, hugs, best wishes and as Julie would say "The Love" thankyou.

I chatted with Mick in a one waay conversation today and I know he would be telling me much the same as you all are, so I am listening and I will take notice.

So at 9.40 East Coast USA time I am having a very large glass of wine and saying cheers to my big sister Jen the best Mum I ever had.

Si I plan to call in on you on my way to the North East on Tuesday 14th ...will message you

Julie , as I now have a whole week of nothing time after the funeral I plan to come to you with edible gifts, your cocunut shells etc on the way back to Southampton around 23 April.

xx

Mo

User
Posted 06 Apr 2015 at 19:28
Thinking of you Mo, Take care.

Lesley xx

User
Posted 06 Apr 2015 at 20:20
Mo, I am always saddened to read of anyone's troubles on this forum, you have had too many in too short space of time, my condolences to you. As for the future you will come to the right decision for you at some stage and only you will know when that is. Kev

Dream like you have forever, live like you only have today Avatar is me doing the 600 mile Camino de Santiago May 2019

User
Posted 06 Apr 2015 at 21:48

BIG HUGS Mandy, hope it all sorts itself out.


Chris and Shirley xxxx

User
Posted 09 Apr 2015 at 16:14

The post mortem concluded my sister Jen died from viral pneumonia she did not suffer.

Years of being very under weight and smoking contributed.

Just goes to show PCa , other cancers, heart attacks snd even what starts out as 'man flu' or being hit by a bus ...when, how or what fate decides is out of our hands.

xxx

Mo

Edited by member 09 Apr 2015 at 16:16  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 09 Apr 2015 at 16:39

Sorry to hear this news Mo, but at least it is not a health issue for you or your family to be worried about moving forward.

atb

dave

User
Posted 09 Apr 2015 at 16:45

Mo, I am so sad for you; the trauma of a sudden loss is sometimes made all the worse by the need for a post mortem. You are in my heart - safe journey home x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 10 Apr 2015 at 07:58

Pneumonia , at least you know have answers to what happened although the very thought of a post mortem is dreadful . My one thought when I heard this is I don't think she would have suffered in any way. When Trevor had it at Xmas by the time the ambulance arrived he was totally out of it. 

Come home safe , thinking of you every day.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 10 Apr 2015 at 14:07

been down to Micks tree and said farewell until october. There is a huge srorm heading this way so i am hoping like crazy that it does not delay my flights and getting home.Discovery of time travel cannot come soon enough for me.

 

best wishes for everyone happy weekend.

xx

 

Mo

User
Posted 12 Apr 2015 at 21:13
Hello Mo

just got your PM wont let me reply to you.

That is a big YES to your question thats why I did edit my post.

Would have loved to have told you what has been going on like you faced with other horrid issuses.I will try again on Monday to PM you.

Sending Best Wishes to You take care

Carol x

User
Posted 12 Apr 2015 at 21:24
Carol

bless you i thought it would be hard for you too is your mail box full you may need to archive some messages. if you go to inbox and it says your message box is ful or close to 100% you will have to delete or archive before you can send a new message or reply.

xx

Mo

User
Posted 12 Apr 2015 at 22:02
Mo it's not my inbox will report it on Monday,

Carol x

User
Posted 17 Apr 2015 at 21:14
So the funeral was awful for more than just emotional reasons but it is done so no point dwelling.

In the meantime we have witnessed many emotional posts from others and I feel as though my problems are tiny in comparison.

Bereavement is always hard but it is final, complete and cannot be changed.

Living however is always open to options and change even though it may not seem complete, it is still living and must be enjoyed to the full.

As TG always said life is for living.

I will say adios ish to this conversation I am not expecting to post again here but who knows, ??

Best wishes

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 17 Apr 2015 at 21:36

Sorry to read that the funeral "was awful" beyond expected.

But, wanted to say, we all have problems, and in the big scheme of things some more serious than for others. But, the problem that WE have to deal with is still significant for each of us, and therefore not at all tiny or insignificant, and still needing to be dealt with. You may not post here any more? Maybe you are too far along your journey from "starting over"? Maybe you are now "moving on" or "making progress"?

Life IS for living. Mo - LIVE yours!

atb

dave

User
Posted 17 Apr 2015 at 22:22

SS as Dave says moving on, slowly but certainly moving forward yes with set backs but moving on. Life can only be lived going forward it doesn't have a reverse button. Will you post on this thread again ? Never say Never that's one of my mottos . Thank you so much for my goody bag (delivered by Si) . My Turtle is just magical I love it.

I know you have to go at everything full throttle , it wouldn't be you to do it any other way.

So looking forward to seeing you I will have the kettle on. X

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
User
Posted 18 Apr 2015 at 05:26
Thanks Dave and Julie for your greatly valued support, I do feel as though losing Jen has in some strange way made me even more aware of the need to do all the things that mean so much to me.

I kind of hope I have no need to continue this thread although I do sometimes come back and read bits of it to remind me how far I have come. So moving on? ...In some areas yes but in others not so much so but most definitely making progress.

As you say Julie never say never.. Ginger and tumeric cake will be baked on Tuesday ready for Trevor to consume on Wednesday.

Naturally I will be posting on other people's threads as this forum is one of those aforementioned things that mean so much to me.

Happy weekend one and all

Xx

Mo

User
Posted 18 Apr 2015 at 08:56

You sound so purposeful and goal directed which is really great. There will be times when you need to stand back and see how far you have come but it feels as if you can now move on to new horizons which must be exciting and scary in equal proportion. You are such a great support for others and a source of inspiration it is so important to draw on that support yourself when you need it.

Looking forward to meeting up soon.

User
Posted 18 Apr 2015 at 10:34
Mo

Keep posting if you can, you're such an encouragement to us all and have a great deal of wisdom and experience to pass on.

Arthur

User
Posted 18 Apr 2015 at 13:04
Oh Mo

What good positve positive posts from your friends on here.

3 steps forward then 2 steps back dealing with what ever is thrown at you.One step at a time is good and positive yoir doing fine at your own pace and still have the time to care about others with the PM you sent me yesterday.

Will get back to you soon Mum's being extra special today she is hard work sometimes.

Carol x

User
Posted 11 May 2015 at 21:56
Here I am again that woman who said this thread should be just about finished .... obviously not as satrting over is actually a lot longer process than I thought it ever would be.

I have just had the most amazing weekend, those who know me on FB will already have seen this but I just felt sharing it on here would offer a little more ecouragement to others. Ironically I always thought these posts would help other widows but several men have told me they also give reassurance to them for reasons that are not always so obvious.

Anyway I have to say that 1 year ago I could not have envisaged myself walking 1k let alone running so to complete the 5k color dash with Family Scott was a bit of a triumphant moment OK we were not fast but we finished about halfway down the 2500 strong field. I slowed us down having had minor surgery to remove a suspect mole from my groin just 10 days earlier. The run meant so much to me that I pleaded with the surgeon to do whatever she could to give me a fighting chance of being able to take part. She removed it and then proceeded to use plastic surgery skills to pack it and stitch it very neatly and with tiny little stitches. They were removed on the Wednesday before the run with the nurse telling me it was incrediby neat and would not scar. I did think to myself who the heck would ever notice in a place wehere the sun doesn't shine? maybe she thought i had a day job in something a lot more saucy than working as a volunteer in our local hospice !! Biopsy results will be in some 2 -3 weeks later, they are obviously not too concerned so neither am I, I have learnt not to worry about things I can't change.

That brings me on to the post event BBQ for those lovely people who came to the showground or offered moral support from nearby on a cold, windy and slghtly overcast day and yelled us all through the finish line covered in powder paint, wearing muticolour tutus and sporting our own art work T shirts. The twins had done theirs with personal tributes to Mick, things they had remembered like playing Os and Xs with him, his yellow and red stripey sock monkey and a cruise ship as well. Brought a lump to my throat and a tear to my eyes.

Due to the inclement weather we redesigned my longe/dining room by bringing randomly selected furniture indoors , well, I have to add here I didn't I was busy grilling outside under the verrandah whilst sipping a little chardonnay and putting the world to rights with Julie aka Trevor Boothe. The A team managed to make a 16 seat dining suite complete with tablecloths and individual place settings (very impressive) whist others helped me with cullinary matters.

We ate pretty well and all chatted away happily. Countryboy55, 99 or whatever vintage he is this week led the clearing up team and they did a fabulous job. There was not a dish left for me to wash the next day big thanks for that.

Definitely doing this again next year, I slept that night dreaming of a sub 30 minute time in bright glorious sunshine. Our hospice will be 600 quid better off for our efforts and thanks to all of you here who contributed alongside famiilies and friends. Latest figures from the hospice are that a staggering 150k has been raised already.

I slept so well I was late getting going for the next big adventure .. off for Sunday lunch at a riverside pub in Newark with the Scott family and Karen (for those that do not know Karen was widowed 2 months after me and was married to the legendary TopGun aka Barrington Newman)

Another wonderful afternoon and Tommy came too (TGs teddy) I so wish I could post just a photo or two on here the food was amazing and the company matched it too. Thanks Si for everything.xxx

I am so very blessed to have such an incredible group of friends from this forum, my own family and frends do a wonderful job of looking out for me, but this group understand in a different way one only we can understand.

Those that came this year are all already invited for next .. if more come and the weather is bad we may be having a garage party!!

My thanks go to SiNess and family, Countryboy, Brianissac and Lesley, TrevorBoothe and family and Yorkhull for making Saturday so special and to Siness and family and Karen for the same things on Sunday. Also to everyone who sponsored our efforts on saturday.

You are all special people.

Roll on MOTS

xxx

Mo

Edited by member 11 May 2015 at 22:01  | Reason: Not specified

 
Forum Jump  
©2025 Prostate Cancer UK