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Making the most of it

User
Posted 22 Jan 2019 at 18:10
Thanks Chris,

N has had a night bag since he went into hospital, the nurses are going to put a leg bag back on tomorrow, which will make shuffling about a bit easier.

He bypasses his catheter everytime he opens his bowels and this is when the blood appears. His urine is a good colour but the blood from his prostate pools around the catheter in his urethra and the clots come down the outside of the catheter tubing :(

Eventually the blood backs up into the bladder and then the odd clot appears in the tube.

The bladder maintenance is a small bag of fluid held up and drained into the bladder, they haven't had any problems getting this into the bladder which is good and shows his catheter isn't blocked with large clots, I'll be doing this twice a day, the district nurses do the squeezy bottles if it's more challenging but if it needs the big syringe it will be off to hospital.

I've got the thigh straps and bag straps ready to go as he's going to try and put trousers on to come home. :)

User
Posted 23 Jan 2019 at 16:03
Everything has been delivered, minor issue with a wonky leg on the commode which will be resolved tomorrow.

N is very tired today, probably from all the organising that goes on around him, he's interested but it's hard to follow what everyone is doing and when.

I've been shown the catheter maintenance once and I will have a go at it this evening, I'm sure I'll get the hang of it quickly doing it twice a day. I suggested to N he might like to do it himself but he didn't look particularly willing!

Today's administration cock up is Carers Allowance. I have been on unpaid leave since the end of October but as I was paid £6, yep, £6 over the threshold in November I didn't qualify for November or December. I have been paid for the week before he went into hospital and then a bright spark who called me in Jan to ask for December's payslip has decided in their infinite wisdom that because he is in a hospice, he won't be coming out and closed my claim completely......I get the threshold has to be somewhere and although infuriating, I can just about swallow the injustice but to assume they can close his case completely. ....aaaarrrggggh.

The response was that they will listen back to the phone call to work out why the operative did that, I feel they are looking for something I said that can be interpreted as me saying he won't be coming home. Then I will have to begin a claim all over again.....this life is so hard to navigate at the best of times, today I feel like giving up on admin completely it's too exhausting.

On a more positive note, the hospice doctor encouraged N to attend the next onco appointment on Monday, it may be just to tie up ends but one can hold a glimmer of hope that symptom relief is still on the table if it's needed, maybe some radiotherapy to the prostate to reduce it if he's fit enough. I have booked hospital transport as I'm not sure he'll be able to get in a car.

Hoping the move home tomorrow will be smooth and not too tiring.

User
Posted 23 Jan 2019 at 23:05

Dear Kentish,

I am so glad that everything is all set up ready. Everything has been sorted and you're an absolute super star. I really hope that everything goes smoothly tomorrow - you all bloody deserve it!

 

Love, happiness and peace to you all,

 

Vicky xxxx

Broken crayons still colour 

User
Posted 24 Jan 2019 at 05:19
Crossing my fingers and toes that the move home goes well, is as stress free as it can be, and that you both finally get to relax.

Damn and blast that admin.

User
Posted 24 Jan 2019 at 09:11

Wow, reading what you are going through is exhausting enough, I can only tell you how much I admire you for your forebearance. The admin side is appalling, I also thought that carers allowance was done on a weekly basis, argh! Just what you don’t need especially as its such a small amount. 

I must admit I can hear your worry about N coming home today and I can totally relate to it. Managing the day to day care of someone so sick on your own is so tough. My heart goes out to you, it really does. I will be thinking of you.

with love

Devonmaid xxx

User
Posted 24 Jan 2019 at 19:57
Thank you everyone for your words of support.

WE ARE HOME!!!!!!!

Just a couple of hiccups along the way, transport not arriving and having to find a wheelchair cab at school pick up time, needing to pick up sleeping tablets (zopiclone) from chemists as there wasn't any for N to take home from hospice but apart from that it went OK.

We have just done our first bedtime routine of catheter flush/night bag/remake bed/bring my camp bed downstairs etc.

I have set alarms for the drugs, set a reminder for the fentanyl patch and I am bloomin exhausted.

It's only 7.50pm, too early to go to bed really so I am pottering about trying to regain some order in the rest of the house.

My lovely mum cooked the dinner and has offered to cook every night. I am soooooo lucky. Otherwise it's going to be toast, toast and a bit more toast I think.

The carer arrived about 10 mins after we got home, she would also have been the bedtime one but we are allowed to say no thank you to any of the bookings so N said he didn't want help tonight, he just wanted to settle down.

They will be back in the morning to wash him and get him ready for the day, then roughly 3.5 to 4 hours after that if we want them. It's much more flexible than I thought it would be.

I am hoping we are not first in the morning😄 so I can have a lay in. The kids are going into school late and we are going to have breakfast together. McDonald's I believe 🍔

User
Posted 25 Jan 2019 at 13:04

What a wonderful mum, that will make a huge difference.

N will be glad to be home.

Sounds like the care package is good.

Enjoy your breakfast!

Ido4

User
Posted 25 Jan 2019 at 17:55
A pretty good day, not Maccie d's but a local independent coffee shop breakfast instead, yay the kids have grown out of the Golden Arches allure 😄

N had a toasted cheese sandwich with the crusts cut off, this is important because he wears dentures and crusts are his enemy (even with polygrip).

The carers have been 3 times so far today, first visit this morning at 9am coincided with the breakfast so we agreed N would have a wash at lunch time, when they arrived at lunch he was fast asleep so we left him. They came back at 5pm and washed him then. It's all pretty relaxed and totally about what N wants or doesn't want to do.

I've managed to do some reorganisation and feel a little more feng shui, though being home with the kids is not relaxing at all....

We have a caravan by the sea, my profile pick is a pretty good representation of the sunset there. The site reopens on March 1st, N's goal is to be able to get in the car so we can go there, either before it opens and just be at the sea or when it opens and sit on the decking.

He's still got goals and I am hopeful we might achieve them.

Tonight's goal, watch an episode of something we've been recording without falling asleep. 😊

User
Posted 27 Jan 2019 at 02:16
I've been so pleased to read your updates, Kentish. So many positives there (kids growing out of the golden arches for one). Am hoping you are all now settling back comfortably into being at home.

The goal of seeing the sunset at the coast sounds wonderful. We can get H into the car with some effort, but his pain levels mean that any uneccessary trip is not possible - so sad, but we are kind of used to it as it has been this way for years.

Good luck for the visit to the oncologist on Monday. And for the day therapy centre later - a quiz would scrape over the borderline into acceptable here, I think :)

User
Posted 27 Jan 2019 at 09:57

Morning Kentish

i hope that you are coping well with everything and the weekend is turning out to be ok. I’ve been away as grandson was born Friday at 11.52, all natural this time except for a trip to theatre after (not sharing those details). Daughter likes mum to attend (second time now) so absolutely shattered after that experience. Hubby hasn't been well enough to see him yet, but little Indy is now home so hoping to get him over there today with luck.

always thinking of you 

Love Devonmaid xxxx

User
Posted 27 Jan 2019 at 14:31
Teacups, N is planning on trying to get in the car later today to see if it's possible, mostly because we had to wait so long for the transport. If he can manage it, I'll bring him home from the appointment and cancel the return journey. He's not in pain which is a blessing but he has very little leg strength left and very poor balance. I don't know if this is just the muscle wastage from his recent illnesses or something else.

I've just had the confirmation of his place for 8 weeks at the day centre, they do provide transport for this and hopefully he doesn't have to wait long to be brought home.

I'm absolutely knackered, he's not slept at night undisturbed since we came home. He had a sleeping tablets one night and anxiety meds a different night but he kept waking up.

He also hadn't "been" for 2 days, last night the movicol/ laxido took effect😯 and we're on 8 deposits and counting since the early hours of the morning.

Devon maid

Congratulations to you and your family, we have some friends and family with little babies and they are the best distraction. I hope hubby gets to meet little Indy soon.

Xx

User
Posted 28 Jan 2019 at 03:57

I feel for you, Kentish.  Disturbed sleep, on top of the anxieties of the past months is absolutely knackering.  And it is very hard to bounce back from it.  And the after effects of the laxido - aaaargh, you have my sympathies. 

Hope you sort out the car - it will be much more convenient than having to either wait for transport or hope like hell that it turns up.  But, transferring is hard work.  H still has reasonable arm strength (at the moment), but his legs have no strength, and one doesn't work much at all.  So to get him in the car it is lounge chair to wheelchair, then wheelchair to the car and transfer.  If we get the wheelchair side on to the car seat he can push himself up on his arms and slide across (sometimes with more success than others!).   If you can get some advice from the allied health team at the hospice they may be able to work out the best way for you to do it.  There are a few aids - grippy handles that clip into the door lock, and a turntable thing for the seat, and slide boards.  We didn't think they helped in our case, but it is worth exploring.  And is your wheelchair heavy?  Ours is fortunately fairly light and can be taken apart a bit to get it in the car, but there are tricks to lifting it in too.

User
Posted 29 Jan 2019 at 08:14

Teacups, more of our lovely friends stepped in to help yesterday to get to the hospital :) A firefighter and a policewoman,  both with great manual handling skills. The best bit was using a black rubbish sack for slithering across the seat! N was actually able to stand from the wheelchair and then shuffle a little and sit straight onto the seat. It's a Honda Stepwagon, the seats are very high, not great for shorties like me but N has no trouble. Our friends came with us and waited then helped to get back in the car, followed us home and helped put him to bed again. I feel so lucky to have this support.

We met a new onco yesterday and our appointment was not one of doom and gloom, yay!

Radiotherapy to be booked for 1 zap of the prostate to try and improve bleeding and relive pressure in that area on the bowel/urethra etc. Onco thought given N's history so far he is likely to suffer some side effects such as diarrhoea etc.

Ct scan and bone scan booked to see what's what as psa has increased from 33 mid December to 203 last week.

Enzalutimide to be started in a couple of weeks, this is now available because the Abiraterone was working, psa Oct was 80 and on Abiraterone it had come down to 30'see but onco felt that N's problems in the last few weeks were due to poor tolerance of the Abiraterone in conjunction with SIADH treatment. So we get another drug, if N improves enough to start it.

Onco felt N will improve as his blood tests showed he was fairly stable now in terms of hb, sodium, potassium etc. Alp was 240, down from 400ish. 

Onco has a special interest in genomic treatments and gave me details.of the Barcode2 trial to go through with N, again, if he is well enough. He certainly isn't fit enough to travel at the moment or have any chemotherapy (carboplatin) if he was identified to have a suitable gene mutation for it.

N's legs are very painful this morning from yesterday's exertion but he is keen to get moving again, so the next couple of weeks will be focused on trying to regain some strength.

Xx

User
Posted 29 Jan 2019 at 11:45

Kentish

what a lovely, hopeful post this is. An oncologist that can give hope is a thing to treasure! John has had a week on enza so far and is ok so far. He’s not exactly well but I’d say better than he was so I’m hopeful for a decent response. We managed a walk in Cirencester yesterday so needs a day’s rest today. It’s wonderful that you have help with N, with such friends in your life at least you have decent people you can rely upon. Sometimes that’s the best we can ask for. 

Hoping you have a good day today

Lots  of love

Devonmaid xxx

User
Posted 02 Feb 2019 at 03:13

Was so pleased to hear how well your visit to the hospital went.  Wonderful to have supportive frineds, and especially wonderful to have capable supportive friends.  And what positive feedback from the new onco.  So hope that with continued improvement N can start on the Enzo, and that it helps as the Abi did.  

I guess you'll be anxious awaiting the scan results, but at least they will give you some knowledge of the current state of play.

How did N recover after the hospital trip?  And have you been for the day therapy centre visit yet?  Or was it scheduled on one of the days of appalling weather I've been reading about you having??? 

Pleased to read Devonmaid that you got a day out too.  We've finally had some cooler weather and could venture outside without frying for about the first time in a month https://community.prostatecanceruk.org/Scripts/tinymce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-cool.gif

User
Posted 02 Feb 2019 at 16:12

Oh Teacups, 

Shortlived hope indeed. N bleed profusely from his prostate Tuesday and Wednesday and Wednesdays blood test showed his hb was down to 70 and his gfr (kidney function) was 12. Dreadful numbers. Ambulance back into hospital for a blood transfusion Thursday evening and waiting for an ultrasound of his kidneys. But as per bloody usual, it's the weekend, nothing happens on the weekend here it seems. Ultrasound will probably be Monday.  To top it off , I've come down with a sickness bug, the first time I've been too poorly to look after him and he's in the hospital. It's so stressful,  and it bloomin snowed. Sister in law and mum are taking turns to sit with him while I recover. 

Radiotherapy planning booked for Tuesday, Enzo clinic Friday. Hoping he'll be able to get to them.

User
Posted 02 Feb 2019 at 19:42
So sorry , sending all my wishes and strength to both of you :-(( xx

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 02 Feb 2019 at 20:34

Oh no

i had a horrible feeling that radio silence wasn’t good news. I’m so sorry. And now a tummy bug on top, just what you didn't need. Hugs.

love Devonmaid xxxx

User
Posted 03 Feb 2019 at 00:18
Thanks guys,

I feel better this evening and will visit him tomorrow afternoon, it physically hurts inside that I cant/shouldn't go until I know I'm not sick anymore. My biggest fear is that we get stuck in the hospital and either don't get home or to the hospice. My mum reported back that they are flushing his catheter 4 times a day to prevent going back on continuous irrigation and that they came to take his blood again as his kidney function had reduced even more. But they didn't give her any numbers. This is really c**p 😭

User
Posted 03 Feb 2019 at 00:23

Oh no, Kentish.  Didn't like reading your update this morning.  Crappy enough that he is back in hospital, and why.  But just so, so hard that you can't be there with him.  Your lovely Mum and sister are worth their weight in gold though.

Wishing you a speedy recovery so that you can get in there, and for some improvement in N.

 
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