15 years on (continued)

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 08:25

I have tried to write something once and got nowhere. Keep strong. Keep believing, and when the 4 of you do finally get together, if there is a God, I am sure he/she will ensure there are no problems. But that ain't going to be for some time yet!

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 09:24

My Goodness Barry,

What a lot your family are dealing with at the moment, I am not surprised that Jame's has high blood pressure. Sometimes in life we feel that things are so bad we will never get through it but as Allison says some how we do, the human spirit is amazing .

I am really hoping the pain can be sorted for you and very quickly, of course I will be thinking of you on Wed.

As for your last ps, well what a conundrum that is for all of us with mixed up families, my take is it will either be one big happy party or handbags and pistols at dawn.http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-wink.gif

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 10:39

TG what a terrible time you are having, like Allison Mick and I went through a terrible time losing both sets of parents and his very much loved Nan in close succession. It takes time but you do heal.

I am also concerned about your pain in the bottom so I am hoping that your Onco can come up with a valid reason for it as well as a solution to clear it.

As for your PS .. I hope to goodness it is a place where everyone is civil at least if not positively happy together knowing that at some point in their lives they all loved more than one person. I have already asked Mick if he can ask his Mum to stop bloody hoovering at 6am . It seems that earthly habits go with you I swear that is what wakes me up every morning around that time.

xxx

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 10:42

Thinking of you all.

Had a similar journey but with longer timeline and even that was difficult.

Re: what happens next.

IF there is another place (and like Karen I feel there must be or what's it all about otherwise) I am assuming that there are no divisions or splits, no animosity, no actual personal relationships, just peace and love for each and every one of us. In general, happiness and no pain.

As for the other place (which I am sure you are not destined for) I have never, well not since my Catholic childhood, assumed that it will be a place of leaping flames.

I like to think of it more as an intense knowledge and understanding of all the evils they have done and the feeling of the pain of the person/s affected by those actions.

Keep strong and I hope you get some resolution regarding your pain. Best Wishes Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 11:03

Barry sorry to hear the pain in the axse is worse. Hopefully the onc will shed some light on it and provide something to alleviate it.

Absolutely terrible news about the other people in your life. But, and please don't take this the wrong way, you perhaps have to be selfish at this time and think of yourself and put yourself first.

Regarding your PS I have often wondered if there should be a different thread regarding such things. I know my lovely aunty was helped, with her faith that she would see her family again, in her last few months

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 11:12

Bloody hell Barry what a difficult time you and your family are having. There are no easy answers here. I don't know if the presence of so many problems at least enables you all to discuss and share problems rather than struggle to find the words. I do think the contemporary world has shied away from discussing those ultimate questions around life and death and yet its presence remains all around us, as sadly for you Barry is patently obvious. You are a strong determined individual and I hope your positive approach brings some relief to those suffering around you.

Hope they get to the bottom of the bottom problem, so to speak! Looking forward to seeing you in Leicester. I know you are determined to be there and claim your sarnies!

Now to the existential problem. My favourite quote has always been Julian Barnes's where he says: ‘After death, either we feel better or we feel nothing.’ I have little faith and tend towards a long sleep. It would be a bit of a nightmare if I were to wake up after life and be confronted with my ex-wife. To be honest its hard enough in real life! I think the mind cannot really contemplate what happens, if anything, after death because it cannot contemplate death easily. So we have stories provided by religions, which give some of us a comfort that somehow, in some form, life continues. If it does maybe it would be great to meet those you miss and we all miss so many people, but I guess, to quote, Monty Python, I would prefer 'something completely different'. So I tend to the Barnes quote and a long painless sleep, sounds strangely inviting!

User

Posted 07 Jun 2014 at 11:19

I'm also really sorry to hear of your current circumstances. I lost both my parents and my wife lost her mother all within a few months and so I know very well the feelings you have. That said, it was before I was diagnosed so I didn't have that to cope with as well so I do feel for you.

As for the other thing I'm a confirmed nonbeliever and so I'm afraid I can't throw any light on that whatsoever.

Hope you're feeling better soon Barry

User

Posted 08 Jun 2014 at 21:52

Well been an interesting weekend as dad (TG) said, had to deal with my mother and her bad news re leukaemia. Black tie dinner Friday so home at 2:30am. Pick mum and husband up on Saturday am. Host them and my sister in the fore mentioned new house dad mentioned on previous post. Read all the info on leukaemia. I'm going to get a GCSE on cancer this year at this rate!! Take her back this am.

On Thursday take my kids to their other grand dad funeral.

My blood pressure is fine. Sort of amusing really. Friday we have a health visitor around as we have upped our health insurance and they want to check us out. My mother is on the phone telling me her diagnosis and she is clearly upset, when the nurse turns up. I then have a few other calls before she takes my blood pressure and it's a little high and asks me if everything is ok. Of course I didn't want to let her know about mums issue as she is employed by insurance company. My wife didn't know it was my mum on the phone either so was a little surprised when my sister called during my tests to discuss my mothers leukaemia and had no clue what she was taking about.

Anyway two minutes later and all fine re the 2nd blood test.

Needless to say busy weekend.

I'm bringing dad and Karen to Leicester all being well so may see some of you there which would be good to see all the people that are helping support my dad.

TG. Hope they diagnose the pain in the arse. Get the doctor to use a miners lamp. A modern one though not the old one with a flame as that may be dangerous and explode when he looks ups your arse.

No 1 son james.

Edited by member 08 Jun 2014 at 21:52 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 00:54

Hi all, Yes you too No 1 son,

Actually you don't know the half of it. Of late if I stand for more than a few minutes I get a terrible feeling of downward pressure and pain in my bowels and the need to actually open my bowels, this is worse if I am having a wee. It also feels as if there is an obstruction there. The combination of the two counter - active sensations is not pleasant at all.

So far I have managed to contain things ....but wind....if you set light to it I could be used as a mobile flame thrower.

As you will have seen the Newman household has had a troublesome few days but throughout No 1 son has been a star.

I tend to forget that it is his children he took to the funeral, it is his sister who's partners father is seriously ill, it is his Mum who has a very aggressive form of leukaemia and yes it is his Dad that isn't in the best of health.

No 1 son has taken on, at least as far as family is concerned, worries that could overcome many a soul. Moreover he has been going up and down the country being there for everybody, he and his wonderful wife have been supportive beyond belief. As I said earlier it is easy to overlook that he must share these worries, they are all people who he loves and he himself could easily get down, but no he really has been our rock. (With my Karen alongside I have the beginnings of a wall!)

I am so proud of him and I will take a lot of pleasure in introducing him to the many of you on this site who will be at Leicester when he drops me off. I am hoping that he and his wife will join us for the evening meal when he comes to take us back, will wait and see. Thank you James for taking over my role and looking after everyone in a time of need.

Now to the week ahead, I think I will see my GP on Monday despite the fact I am seeing my Onco on Wednesday to discus the results of last weeks scan. I think a physical examination with a gentle feel up the bum might help in determine if there is an obstruction etc there. Whilst my Onco will I guess be concentrating on the spread to the liver, lungs etc it is the pain in the bum which is rapidly dragging me down. Perhaps, just perhaps my GP will see/feel something that a scan might miss.

Then on Thursday, dependant on chat with Onco, another session of chemo. So far chemo has been relatively kind to me, just a bit of tiredness and a loss of taste buds, as to whether it's working....who knows....well my Onco hopefully!

Take care all,

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington )

Edited by member 09 Jun 2014 at 04:36 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 06:23

I think No. 1 son is a real star, but then I also think he must have had a good role model. Good luck Barry and I hope for some relief for you.

Well done James - but remember because all those people are relying heavily on you, it will be easy to forget that you too need to stop occasionally and take a big breath and a bit of me time if you can manage it.

Since I've been a member of this site I have been constantly amazed and humbled by the actions and reactions of everyone here.

What a great bunch of people you all are.

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 06:35

The human spirit is amazing. Good luck to all of you this week. I hope you get rid of that pain in the bum, TG.

Today, I have to take my mother-in-law for a hospital appointment, meet a guy with her afterwards to sort a few things out, and then a funeral for another great guy from the golf club. This is the 6th in 3 years that cancer has taken from us.

As Johsan says, James looks like a chip of the old block. You can be very proud.

Paul

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 08:23

Hi Barry,

It is no surprise to me how well James is coping, like father like son. He has the best role model. Good luck for your GP visit today lets hope something can be found http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-surprised.gif and then you can start to get it sorted.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 08:57

Agree with everyone, Barry, James has the best role model, and I look forward to meeting him and his wife.

In the meantime I hope amongst your appointments someone can find a way to relieve the pain, so difficult to live with.

Love to you and Karen, Janet

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 10:38

Will think of you on Thursday, TG. Neil also having second chemo that day. What a star your no., 1 son is. Hope the pain in the you know where can be sorted and all the best for your get together at Leicester !

Fiona.

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 17:34

Hi all,

Back from seeing my GP who thankfully is a gentle giant.

After carefully listening to myself and Karen he tried to give me an internal but had to stop as it was too painful........for me not him!

Anyway he is of the opinion that there is a tumour(s) around the area of the bowels which is causing a partial blocking and feeling of pressure. He thinks I need directional RT onto the tumour(s) in question to help reduce the size. He will inform my Onco of this who I see on Wednesday and also the palliative care team. So that looks like the next step. He has also prescribed yet another pain killer to be used nightly alongside the Oramorph/Zomorph which will not only help with the pain but should help with my sleep pattern which is currently a rather chequered one.

So until Wednesday good people I will say adieu.

Life is for living

Barry (alias Barrington )

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 18:33

Best of luck TG. Keep at it!

Stay Calm And Carry On.

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 20:11

Thinking of you TG Good luck for Wednesday and hoping they can put a plan together.

Keep at em mate

Bri

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 20:38

Wow TG, you have a GP who actually doesn't mind looking.

I too had a gentle giant at the surgery and I felt I could tell him everything. Great big bear of a man who always had time for you.

He appears to have been replace by a doctor who John and I refer to as Dr. Handsoff since the merest mention of anything that actually requires looking at is greeted with a blank look.

Anyway, good luck for Wednesday. Hope you get something resolved. Best Wishes Sandra

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 09 Jun 2014 at 21:56

I am hoping the new painkiller works quickly, Barry, and if it helps you sleep so much the better. It is hard enough for you, and lack of sleep only makes it all worse.

Hoping you get some help from your onco on Wednesday, love to you and Karen, Janet, xx

User

Posted 11 Jun 2014 at 11:05

TG you #1 Son is a star just like you ..way to go James we all love you already xxx sorry Julie and Lyn

I may have been quiet for a few days but I am still thinking of you daily and worrying about your bottom issue. Sounds like your GP is one of the old school just like ours, they are a godsend believe me. If it is a tumour and they can zap it then that should at least ease your pain. You might find that faeces are forming behind it and only small amounts can pass around it, I am surprised you have not been advised to take Macrogol or one of the other medications to make things much looser. At least that would help slow down methane production and possibly save the planet xxhttp://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-foot-in-mouth.gif

So looking forward to meeting you all at Leicester stay strong my friend

xxx

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