I'm interested in conversations about and I want to talk about
Know exactly what you want?
Show search

Notification

Error

<123

New to this and scared

User
Posted 21 Sep 2018 at 10:17

Hy Sharon you shouldn't feel guilty  it's just your way of dealing  with it and it is your battle as well .Just remember U 2 R 1.take care Geoff

User
Posted 28 Sep 2018 at 08:38

Hi Sharon I am new to this also husband was diagnosed yesterday, having bone scan on Wednesday then consultation with consultant a week later so another anxious two weeks to see what stage my hubby is. Yesterday was a blur but I now have a list of questions to ask. Am thinking of you as I know exactly how you are feeling xx

User
Posted 28 Sep 2018 at 14:43

hi barbara and welcome. Who would have thought in a million years we would be here. It does get a bit easier when you get over the shock and actually know what you’re dealing with and I’m hoping once treatment starts things will get even better.  My other half has since had his first hormone therapy injection and yesterday we had counselling which tbh don’t really think helped. We were told we need counselling separately which I don’t understand coz I’m just going with my OH for support and it’s not about me. We also have our first consultation with the oncologist on the 17th October to discuss chemotherapy but unsure yet when that will start. 

 

I just wonder if alan or anybody would know about the different stages of cancer. My OH was originally told he was stage 3 but that was when they knew it had spread from the prostate to the pelvic bone but after the bone scan when they found it had spread to the lumber region of his spine and the chest bone (just hot spots). He is now convinced he is stage 4 and keeps saying there isn’t a stage 5 😢

 

Also my OH is concerned the hormone therapy may not be working. How will he know? He thought his libodo would drop (well that’s what we were told). It’s a bit embarrassing but he still manages to get an erection but doesn’t climax fully but he said it still feels like he has. Does that mean  his still producing testosterone?

 

 

Edited by member 28 Sep 2018 at 14:54  | Reason: Not specified

User
Posted 28 Sep 2018 at 19:04
Hi Sharon, I think different results are getting muddled here.

Your OH was given a grade 3 (which is the modern way of talking about Gleason grade - your OH was a G7 which puts him in group 3 for how distorted the cancer cells are.

He was also diagnosed as T3 which means that the cancer has escaped out of the lining that covers the prostate gland but has not spread to other organs nearby

He has stage 4 cancer which means he has metastatic spread to the bones and is incurable. He is correct that there is no stage 5 but being incurable is not the same as being terminally ill.

Not all men lose their libido on HT and even those that do don’t find it is immediate. He has only been on it for 2 or 3 weeks - nothing to worry about at this stage.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 29 Sep 2018 at 15:31

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

hi barbara and welcome. Who would have thought in a million years we would be here. It does get a bit easier when you get over the shock and actually know what you’re dealing with and I’m hoping once treatment starts things will get even better.  My other half has since had his first hormone therapy injection and yesterday we had counselling which tbh don’t really think helped. We were told we need counselling separately which I don’t understand coz I’m just going with my OH for support and it’s not about me. We also have our first consultation with the oncologist on the 17th October to discuss chemotherapy but unsure yet when that will start. 

 

I just wonder if alan or anybody would know about the different stages of cancer. My OH was originally told he was stage 3 but that was when they knew it had spread from the prostate to the pelvic bone but after the bone scan when they found it had spread to the lumber region of his spine and the chest bone (just hot spots). He is now convinced he is stage 4 and keeps saying there isn’t a stage 5 😢

 

Also my OH is concerned the hormone therapy may not be working. How will he know? He thought his libodo would drop (well that’s what we were told). It’s a bit embarrassing but he still manages to get an erection but doesn’t climax fully but he said it still feels like he has. Does that mean  his still producing testosterone? 

This will explain the T grades;

One tool that doctors use to describe the stage is the TNM system. Doctors use the results from diagnostic tests and scans to answer these questions:

  • Tumor (T): How large is the primary tumor? Where is it located?

  • Node (N): Has the tumor spread to the lymph nodes? If so, where and how many?

  • Metastasis (M): Has the cancer metastasized to other parts of the body? If so, where and how much?

The results are combined to determine the stage of cancer for each person. There are 5 stages: stage 0 (zero) and stages I through IV (1 through 4). The stage provides a common way of describing the cancer, so doctors can work together to plan the best treatments.

Here are more details about each part of the TNM system for prostate cancer.

Tumor (T)

Using the TNM system, the "T" plus a letter or number (0 to 4) is used to describe the size and location of the tumor. Some stages are also divided into smaller groups that help describe the tumor in even more detail. Specific tumor stage information is listed below. If the tumor is staged clinically, it is often written as cT. If pathologic staging is used, it is written as pT.

Clinical T

TX: The primary tumor cannot be evaluated.

T0 (T plus zero): There is no evidence of a tumor in the prostate.

T1: The tumor cannot be felt during a DRE and is not seen during imaging tests. It may be found when surgery is done for another reason, usually for BPH or an abnormal growth of noncancerous prostate cells.

  • T1a: The tumor is in 5% or less of the prostate tissue removed during surgery.

  • T1b: The tumor is in more than 5% of the prostate tissue removed during surgery.

  • T1c: The tumor is found during a needle biopsy, usually because the patient has an elevated PSA level.

T2: The tumor is found only in the prostate, not other parts of the body. It is large enough to be felt during a DRE.

  • T2a: The tumor involves one-half of 1 side of the prostate.

  • T2b: The tumor involves more than one-half of 1 side of the prostate but not both sides.

  • T2c: The tumor has grown into both sides of the prostate.

T3: The tumor has grown through the prostate on 1 side and into the tissue just outside the prostate.

  • T3a: The tumor has grown through the prostate either on 1 or both sides of the prostate. This called extraprostatic extension (EPE).

  • T3b: The tumor has grown into the seminal vesicle(s), the tube(s) that carry semen.

T4: The tumor is fixed, or it is growing into nearby structures other than the seminal vesicles, such as the external sphincter, the part of the muscle layer that helps to control urination; the rectum; the bladder; levator muscles; or the pelvic wall.



User
Posted 29 Sep 2018 at 15:42

Originally Posted by: Online Community Member

hi barbara and welcome. Who would have thought in a million years we would be here. It does get a bit easier when you get over the shock and actually know what you’re dealing with and I’m hoping once treatment starts things will get even better.  My other half has since had his first hormone therapy injection and yesterday we had counselling which tbh don’t really think helped. We were told we need counselling separately which I don’t understand coz I’m just going with my OH for support and it’s not about me. We also have our first consultation with the oncologist on the 17th October to discuss chemotherapy but unsure yet when that will start. 

 

I just wonder if alan or anybody would know about the different stages of cancer. My OH was originally told he was stage 3 but that was when they knew it had spread from the prostate to the pelvic bone but after the bone scan when they found it had spread to the lumber region of his spine and the chest bone (just hot spots). He is now convinced he is stage 4 and keeps saying there isn’t a stage 5 😢

 

Also my OH is concerned the hormone therapy may not be working. How will he know? He thought his libodo would drop (well that’s what we were told). It’s a bit embarrassing but he still manages to get an erection but doesn’t climax fully but he said it still feels like he has. Does that mean  his still producing testosterone?

Hormone Therapy is working if your OH is getting what are known as “dry ejaculations” I have these and the feeling of climax is different as there is no fluid or ejaculate. The lack of ejaculate is a direct effect of the HT so it is working in you OH’s case.

My libido has dropped and I don’t initiate any sex with my OH due to this, but she is still able to get me an erection with a little more work than it used to take, but that’s what a loving partner does.

My wife has been to every meeting I have had about my PCa including every fraction of my Radiotherapy and I am eternally grateful for her support.

Mind you, I thought at one stage it was because she wouldn’t trust me to tell her if I was more ill than she was aware, but she laughed and refuted this.

lastly, our relationship has got stronger as we progress through my journey and although I only have a post Radiotherapy review and PSA test to go to we will do it together 

User
Posted 02 Oct 2018 at 23:03

Hi Sharon bone scan tomorrow for my hubby then another 7day wait for results. Trying to stay strong for him but at the moment he is going through the feeling sorry for himself and I think drinking to muchwhich is unusual for him. Don't want to nag but want him to have a positive outlook. How did your OH react to the initial news. 

User
Posted 03 Oct 2018 at 07:40

I’m one of the people with prostate cancer who thought the waiting between blood tests and scans was the worst part of being diagnosed with the cancer. I’m afraid to say whilst totally understandable drinking won’t help the treatment overall. Keeping fit and well is the very best thing that your OH can do at this stage.

I was a regular cyclist before I was diagnosed so I asked my Oncologist and specialist nurse about exercise and a resounding yes to continued exercise was the response. I am now post radiotherapy by four weeks and still have an agonising 4 weeks till final PSA test and review so I’m afraid nervous waiting goes on till the end 

User
Posted 04 Oct 2018 at 19:39

hi Barbara hope the scan went ok. Believe me this journey isn’t easy bit we are not the ones with the cancer. I wanted to say it’s better when you know what you’re dealing with and it sort of is but still not easy. I think we are still in limbo until we have our appointment on the 17th October to discuss chemotherapy. It’s just all the waiting that’s hard but obviously necessary. After being with someone for over 30 years with 4 children together and 4 grandchildren you pretty much think your life is planned out and you’re whole future is together and then someone throws a spanner in the works and it feels like you’re whole world is falling apart. It doesn’t help that I have just lost my mum to cancer in March this year. 

 
Forum Jump  
<123
©2025 Prostate Cancer UK