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Intermittent orgasm

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User
Posted 27 Mar 2018 at 05:16
Ok now 2.5 years post RP and after a slow start erections good enough for sex are readily available but I find orgasm is now unpredictable? ? Having spent most of my life trying to slow down I now find that sometimes it just won't happen?? Even stranger, sometimes its great (3 great experiences over a weekend?) times over a weekend, then just when you think it can't go wrong ever again it does! !

Now I had a s*** time during my PCA experience when my wife of 30+ years left me but that was 2 years ago and I have now met a wonderful, kind widow and we get on like a house on fire so I would love to understand if this is just an unwanted side effect of surgery or something associated with phsycological damage from divorce? ?

Any thoughts, tips,

User
Posted 27 Mar 2018 at 11:47

Things change a lot don’t they !! I think you will further improve. I’m sure some anxiety is involved which makes things touch and go , as well as divorce stuff. I still worry about erection although it is permanently ok , and any small setback can make things difficult. I’m nearly 3 years post op and have not had an orgasm as good as pre-op yet , but I do orgasm. Yes sensitivity is changed also. I can’t masturbate anymore really unles I use a pump and some lube. Best orgasms are from oral. Sex can last a good long time now but I get weak orgasms with penetrative sex tbh. Keep the faith !!

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 27 Mar 2018 at 18:08

Hi francij4,]

 

My thought?  Have few beers, a good few beers or lots of wine, or whatever your tipple is.  If you don't drink? Hmm.  

 

Then see what happens.

 

I kid you not.  I went to see my GP about several issues recently, some PCa related, some not.  And as I was there item 5 on my agenda was the topic of the reliability of EF when I am outside copious amounts of beer or wine.  Apparently when I have had several beers I have had a wonderful time!  Sometimes I can't actually remember what happened, but I'm told that a good time was had by all.  For "all" read 2, or "both".

 

My GP explained that this was due to the alcohol effectively anaesthetising my head and mind.  My head and mind being totally relaxed, disengaged, switched off if you like, my body functions naturally.  No anxiety, no worry.

 

From my experience, I've learnt that 3 things are needed for a good sex life:

1. Ability, you have that.

2. Interest and inclination from both sides, you have that. 

2. Enthusiasm and willingness to go for it, you have that.

 

So many men and women here post about their anxiety.  I do understand that.  Shakespeare wrote about beer increasing the appetite but detracting from the performance.  It is possible to buck that trend.  

 

Maybe worth a try?

 

I remember you posting and reading about the break up of your marriage on here a while ago.  I am so pleased for you that you and your new lady are fine.  

 

Have a lovely Bank Holiday weekend.

 

atb

 

dave

 

 

Do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)
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User
Posted 27 Mar 2018 at 11:47

Things change a lot don’t they !! I think you will further improve. I’m sure some anxiety is involved which makes things touch and go , as well as divorce stuff. I still worry about erection although it is permanently ok , and any small setback can make things difficult. I’m nearly 3 years post op and have not had an orgasm as good as pre-op yet , but I do orgasm. Yes sensitivity is changed also. I can’t masturbate anymore really unles I use a pump and some lube. Best orgasms are from oral. Sex can last a good long time now but I get weak orgasms with penetrative sex tbh. Keep the faith !!

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User
Posted 27 Mar 2018 at 18:08

Hi francij4,]

 

My thought?  Have few beers, a good few beers or lots of wine, or whatever your tipple is.  If you don't drink? Hmm.  

 

Then see what happens.

 

I kid you not.  I went to see my GP about several issues recently, some PCa related, some not.  And as I was there item 5 on my agenda was the topic of the reliability of EF when I am outside copious amounts of beer or wine.  Apparently when I have had several beers I have had a wonderful time!  Sometimes I can't actually remember what happened, but I'm told that a good time was had by all.  For "all" read 2, or "both".

 

My GP explained that this was due to the alcohol effectively anaesthetising my head and mind.  My head and mind being totally relaxed, disengaged, switched off if you like, my body functions naturally.  No anxiety, no worry.

 

From my experience, I've learnt that 3 things are needed for a good sex life:

1. Ability, you have that.

2. Interest and inclination from both sides, you have that. 

2. Enthusiasm and willingness to go for it, you have that.

 

So many men and women here post about their anxiety.  I do understand that.  Shakespeare wrote about beer increasing the appetite but detracting from the performance.  It is possible to buck that trend.  

 

Maybe worth a try?

 

I remember you posting and reading about the break up of your marriage on here a while ago.  I am so pleased for you that you and your new lady are fine.  

 

Have a lovely Bank Holiday weekend.

 

atb

 

dave

 

 

Do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)
User
Posted 28 Mar 2018 at 07:20
Thanks guys I think you have confirmed what I thought - it's all now in my head!!
User
Posted 01 Apr 2018 at 10:02
Well happy to say the beer red wine and pomegranate tequila cocktail worked a treat!! Smiles around thanks again guys!
User
Posted 01 Apr 2018 at 16:43

Excellent news.

:-)

dave

Do all you can to help yourself, then make the best of your time. :-)
 
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