Plan F. As you were

I'm so sorry about the PSA - hope the oncologist comes up with a brilliant new plan when you speak to them x

Eleanor,

I so want to help you, just like everyone else on here, but I'm powerless. All I can do and will do is hope for the best for you.

David

Hi Eleanor
So sorry for you both having reached this point. I just hope the pain gets properly managed which I think is the most important thing for both of you. Here's wishing the Onco decides something positive.

I've been thinking about all your kind messages and particularly the poem from Marje and the message from Irun. And I've been reading through all my posts since I joined the forum last June/July. It turned out to be a really positive move.

Re-reading the story so far brought back all the moments of worry and pain and panic and all those weeks of my dear old OH feeling sick and hopeless. Doesn't sound very cheering but it helped me realise that on a day to day basis things are actually so much better now. The bone pain is under control, the sickness is generally low, he's still able to enjoy sitting in the park and cycling to see the cormorants and the sea and friends and ranting at the telly and a pint. Tonight we went to see a great blues singer and caught up with Corrie; this weekend we are meeting up with some good mates for dinner, and next week we are off to a classical concert. Plus our care team are really doing their best for us both.

In fact, if I didn't know about the recent PSA rise and the various rubbish test results I'd probably be feeling pretty good about life. So I've decided to just forget about the bl**dy stats and appreciate every day that I get to spend with him and every day that gives him some happiness, however fleeting. In spite of everything we are so lucky. Lucky to have such a good life and loving family and friends, and massively bogglingly unbelievably lucky to have somehow found each other. Seems churlish to complain in the face of that glorious fact.

So, with thanks to Marje and Robert Frost, I proudly unveil Plan G: Here I am and here I will attempt to stay, 'all simply in the springing of the year'. And bugger the uncertain harvest.

E

x

Eleanor,

You're just like my Mum.

My Dad was a depressive, there were lots of good things about him but the depressive side I try not to emulate.

My Mum was an optimist. If you had asked my Mum whether the glass was half full or half empty she would have said "What on earth are you talking about? Can't you see? It's overflowing".

What an example you set for us all Eleanor :-) x

There was a guy on here a good while ago who not only touched my heart but also someone that I had huge respect for he whent by the name of TopGun ( look him up ) his mantra was Life is for Living and my goodness he did that he is a bit of a legend on the forum .

When the chips are down and we get the worst ever news life can seem as if the sun will never shine again but if we can somehow manage to peek out from the quilt over our heads we see that in fact the sun is shining and life continues all around us. I am so glad that I peeped out from under my quilt because otherwise what a waste the last 4 years would have been.

Yes some days have been poop but other days have been brilliant and yes that huge C is always on our shoulder but one thing I have learnt along this journey and yes TopGun I hear your message daily 😉Life is for Living .😍

BFN

Julie X