Plan F. As you were

Or even this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrLk4vdY28Q

If any of you lovely brave determined generous thoughtful funny (in a good way) people out there are not yet properly linked up to a palliative care team please DO IT RIGHT NOW. Whatever it takes - yelling, stalking, repeat phone calls every 23 minutes, megaphones, trip-wire.

Or maybe (as in our case) just somehow persuading your impossibly stubborn, non-verbal, fingers-in-ears OH that a proper holistic review of his health and well-being might be quite useful and then requesting an asap appointment. (I used to use the 'no nookie until you agree' persuasion method. 100% successful in the past - for holidays, scatter cushions or Christmas visits by the massed in-laws. Sadly it no longer seems to have any effect whatsoever.)

Anywayoop, today we went to see the consultant at the local hospice and she was absolutely AWESOME. One and a half hours of focused listening and beautifully clear explanations. Kind and compassionate and knowledgeable. She went through everything - physical and mental, past and present and possible future. All the various tablets and potions considered and tweaked or discarded or replaced. Gaps in their knowledge potentially filled with new scans and tests so that they/we will be ready for whatever happens or doesn't happen next.

We both feel so much calmer and hopeful and in control. It's like having a fairy godmother. I might just put in a request to adopt her.

If this incredible holistic service is available to you, please grab the opportunity with both hands. No more strong silent coping cobblers!!!

Hi Eleanor

Loving your avatar too!!

I'm so glad you got such a positive response from the hospice. I don't know how we would have coped without ours - they were amazing. And they were so supportive to me as a carer, and continue to be through counselling sessions.

Here's hoping the calmness and control continue.

Rosy xx

PS If you are going for adoption just be aware that the process is pretty lengthy so you'd better get started asap 

It certainly is just you Julie. Just you being endlessly brave and funny and headcluckingly extraordinary. And by just being you you have helped to make me braver and more hopeful. Thank you!

Love

Eleanor

x

I have a very dear friend who battles (magnificently) with deep-rooted depression and anxiety. She introduced me to the term 'horizon scanning' in this context. It's a bit like being a human meerkat - constantly on the alert for what might go wrong next, frantically trying to put stuff in place so whatever-it-is doesn't happen, and in a permanent state of stress. Which leads to emotional and physical exhaustion and more stress and more anxiety. Fun it ain't!

I realise that's been our lives for the past year or so - and reading your posts and profiles suggests that we are all at it most of the time. Which makes the courage and resilience and humour and determination and concern for others that's in plentiful supply on this site even more gloriously heartwarming. So, not for the first time, thanks to you all.

AND an update...

I have just had a 48-hour period without horizon-scanning. Nothing to do with the empty gin-bottle and chocolate wrappers in the bin; nothing to do with the daffs and the rugby (not the England Scotland game obviously!) and the sunshine and a day with the grandkids, though that all helped. My 48-hours without a single peek at the horizon is down to my fabulous, brave, massively annoying, kind, clever, impossible OH having had two days with minimal nausea and minimal bone pain. Which also means that he's had two days of feeling cheerful and hopeful and we've started to discuss holidays and booked tickets for a pile of concerts in April and May. Bl**dy brilliant and then some. 

E

xxx

Thanks Sally - hope the chemo has done a good job of minimising your horizon-scanning days and that spring brings a bit of a breather for all of you.

Love

Eleanor

x

Lovely uplifting post, may the respite turn into a prolonged pattern so you can enjoy getting out again. Great stuff.