Waiting for my partners diagnosis

The fact that he is not having a biopsy tomorrow "may" be a good sign.

Having worked with a guy with a very high PSA and no PCa I was not going to have cancer.

My own journey was a visit to GP and told PSA result was high,one week later a biopsy at the hospital and one week later diagnosed with PCa.Scans etc followed in the next few weeks.

Hope all goes well tomorrow and stay positive.

Thanks Chris

Hello Anydou and welcome to the site.

When you go tomorrow for the appointment, make sure you take a notebook and pen as it helps to keep track of what may be said to you both. (It won't be considered odd - lots of people do it and it's a regular piece of advice given on here)

If your other half lets you sit in on the consultation (even if he isn't keen on you being there for the physical exam) it means that there will be two pairs of ears taking the information in.

If you already have questions you would like answers to, the write those down before you go. You may well forget all about them due to anxiety.

Good luck the pair of you. please come back and let us know how he got on and, of course, ask anything you want answers to.

All the best
Sandra

A

You have not said how old your OH is and the PSA and age may have a bearing on tomorrow. I was 62 with a PSA of 7.7 so it was a fair assumption there was something amiss.

I know exactly how your OH is feeling I went to the GP on my own,I went to the biopsy on my own and I went for the result on my own. It was my problem and I was doing it my way. I think I was in that classic " my wife doesn't understand me" frame of mind.

Not really proud of this but I sent my wife a text to say" got cancer going off to see the specialist nurse" and then switched my phone off.

She has been a rock and we are now stronger than ever.

Hope all goes well.

Thanks Chris

Andylou you are never alone on this site, it's what we are here for.  Every single member is either a prostate cancer sufferer or the wife/partner of one so we do understand exactly what you are both going through.

For some men handling the knowledge that he has prostate cancer can be  almost impossible to take in

His brain has probably already told him he's finished, if not dying then he's told himself he'll be impotent and incontinent for the rest of his life.  Such a reaction (for a lot of men - not all) is not unusual. It does mean though that he is will find it difficult talking to the person he is closest too. He's frightened and uncertain and lashing out at you because you are there.

Please try not to take it personally at this stage.  He needs your support and love and hopefully will eventually come round.

PSA of 3.6 is not drastically high but it's not always easy to predict what is happening just from the PSA.  We have men on here with PSA in the thousands, who are not in the cure camp but live (and have lived) full and active lives.

Until your other half has a definite diagnosis then you are both floundering in the dark.

I wish you both well, and can only repeat, please have patience with him  He is in turmoil, (as indeed are you !) and we can  get a little selfish when we are afraid of what the future might bring.

Best wishes

Sandra

Edited by member 23 Mar 2016 at 18:39  | Reason: Not specified

Well that's some relief - the consultant may have a feel to see if it is soft and smooth, may suggest a biopsy or it might be one of the hospitals where they can offer a scan first and then decide whether a biopsy is needed or not. Or the consultant might say let's just do another PSA test in 3 months and see whether it stays stable. S/he may ask some very personal questions about urinary function, erections, libido, whether ejaculatory fluid has decreased recently, etc. Might even ask whether your OH is a keen cyclist (very frequent cycling can result in raised PSA with no cancer present) 

"Not really proud of this but I sent my wife a text to say" got cancer going off to see the specialist nurse" and then switched my phone off." CC, I don't think you have ever mentioned that before - your poor wife!!!! :-)

Edited by member 23 Mar 2016 at 19:19  | Reason: Not specified

A

I was very positive before DX I was not going to have cancer,guy at work had raised PSA and no cancer I was going to be the same.

Post DX I was a different person, I spoke to guys at work but not my wife, if she said talk to xxx he has had cancer I would not. If Joe at work said talk to yyyy he has had cancer I would pick the phone up, no logic but as many guys say you feel like someone has hit you with a sledgehammer.

Work became important it was a distraction and I did enjoy my job.Cannot say I had no interest in family, but I did foolishly consider doing nothing and that was very selfish.

Like Sandra said in her post, he probably is fearing the worst, not all the bad side effects are guaranteed.

Thanks Chris