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User

Posted 17 May 2020 at 21:13

The comments about fretting about low numbers confirms something I’ve felt for a while based on personal experience - it is seen as weakness so it is best to just shut up and deal with it yourself, putting on a false front if needed.

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 21:13 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 17 May 2020 at 22:00

No one should feel like they have to put on a false front - it could have a significant impact on mental health & wellbeing. I think it is perfectly natural for a man who was hoping for a cure to worry if his numbers are rising - and where better than here to find reassurance?

Bazza is saying now not to sweat over tiny rises but as he says, it didn't seem irrelevant to him at the time any more than it did to John or any of the others here who have had a recurrence or just live with the fear of recurrence. I don't think he is suggesting that worrying is a sign of weakness, only that worrying won't change the outcome so don't let the fear / worry spoil the life you have now.

Edited by member 17 May 2020 at 22:03 | Reason: Not specified

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 18 May 2020 at 06:33

Lynn

I was talking about how this reflected a situation at home where my fretting over my pending test at the time of my mums death put me in a real low and my family are sick of me worrying about it. Lockdown has made the situation far worse as it made me quite a bit ocd. On top of that the worst tree pollen hay fever season I’ve ever had which was like random multiple flu days for over a month now. I was very very low.

It’s walk it off with fake smiles time from now on to the rest of the world for me.

Edited by member 18 May 2020 at 06:40 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 18 May 2020 at 08:19

Hi Pete, I'm glad you weren't feeling you had to fake it on this forum. Yes for our friends and family, we may have to put on a brave face at times, but on this forum a brave face is never required or desirable. None of your friends and family know what you are going through; everyone on this forum does know what you are going through. So let off steam here, shout and scream if you want. The collective members will never get tired of you, sure one or two of us, or maybe one hundred of us might say I can't face Pete's whinging today, but the forum seems to have an infinite number of members and at least one will pop his/her head out and say "sorry you're having a bad day Pete, tell me about it".

Dave

p.s. "Peter's whinging today" I'm not saying you whinge any more than any of us, but my post wouldn't read so well if I tried to be politically correct and used the indefinite third person pronoun. Sorry about this long postscript, I have a bit of autism so I like to be a bit too precise, and now I've clarified one phrase I need to clarify two more: "None of your friends and family know what you are going through" should also say ", unless they have had cancer". "everyone on this forum does know what you are going through" should also say ", unless they have joined the forum by accident". OK now you know why I enjoy reading the small print when I book a holiday, and why I list accounting and bookkeeping as a hobby, rather than a chore.

p.p.s now I'm worrying that I'm hijacking bazza's thread, but I guess pete's post was about when to post or not and bazza's thread started because none of us posted to his other pain relief thread, so it's came full circle. I'm OK with that.

Dave

User

Posted 18 May 2020 at 11:20

Bazza, I will add my ‘ don’t go’s ‘ to the list. I am ‘only’ 2 1/2 years down the line and it’s been a hard journey , but not as hard as many. I found this forum is like a group of close friends , you can say anything, no one is shocked. Sometimes we say stuff we can’t say to relatives or friends - we don’t want them to know how we feel .
You are part of the group that makes this forum like that. You are brave to share your raw feelings with us and it gives us all strength.
Good luck whichever way you decide.

Phil

User

Posted 18 May 2020 at 12:00

Bazza,

We are a band of brothers and sisters in the club nobody wants to join.Feel free to share your frustrations with a close community who all have bad hair days on occasion over what the fickle finger of fate has dished out.

Best wishes with whatever you decide.

Norm

User

Posted 18 May 2020 at 14:43

This is my first post. Age 69 I was diagnosed with Advanced PC in Feb 2020 . I started HT immediately and start my first Chemo tomorrow.

Please don't go. If you do then those like me won't know if our feelings are shared with others. The other BIG thing is seeing people still around and getting on with life.

Thank you

User

Posted 19 May 2020 at 08:52

Good luck for your chemo and for the rest of your treatment..

Carl.

User

Posted 19 May 2020 at 10:40

Hi Barry,

i have responded to your other thread and sincerely hope you have your pain under more control now. I would reiterate what others on the forum have said, as my husband and I have recently started out on this frightening journey, we find your posts very helpful. It is reassuring to feel we have the support of all those going through, or who have been through, similar experiences. Being able to express our feelings is a great release, as we don’t tell our family and friends exactly how we feel.

I feel as though I know everyone personally on the forum, I suppose it’s because we all have something in common in our lives that we wish we didn’t have.

With very best wishes to you and your wife.

Ange x

User

Posted 21 May 2020 at 20:54

,Bazza

Sorry I missed your post , I only pop in about once a week , I am like you in that tunnel with the other end blocked up , about a year behind you ,

Please keep posting

Barry

Feb 2011 4+5 LA

User

Posted 21 May 2020 at 23:04

Bazza, the wealth of experience you have with this horrible disease is invaluable to us relative newbies who have not long started on this lonely road. I hope you get some relief from the pain you are suffering and that you continue to support and inform others with your insightful and entertaining posts. Take care Baz xx

Debbie xxx

User

Posted 22 May 2020 at 00:23

Hi Bazza

i haven’t been on the site for ages but with Hubble overdue a PSA I logged in tonight to see how all were coping with lockdown and was sorry to read your post as I have followed your eloquent postings since joining.

i am sorry to have no answers except to try anything advised here and even the inexplicable like reiki ..

Please keep posting

Clare

User

Posted 22 May 2020 at 00:42

Hi Bazza,

So many people have expressed my thoughts about you not posting in a far better way than I ever could, that it's difficult to know what to write.

All I can say is that we care about you and want to support you in every way we can.

Steve

User

Posted 22 May 2020 at 03:31

Thank you Steve. This cruel disease is about 40% physical and 60% mental. It is equally destructive in that respect and attacks the mentally vulnerable. Some say that cancer is character forming. I’d say it is character altering to the point that if the disease doesn’t get you first, it will have done its damage already. Either way, it steals your soul and sucks the essence of human good from you.

User

Posted 22 May 2020 at 09:00

It may have damaged you and your family beyond repair but it did make you brave enough to follow your heart and spend your final years with someone who loves you and who you love.

C x

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 22 May 2020 at 13:47

Yes those little b****rd cells will rot away, but you will be remembered by us with fondness, and by your family with love. None of us have physical immortality, but we do go on in the memory of others once we shuffle of this mortal coil. You may have changed your signature, but we will all remember you as Spartacus; with the strength of iron and a will of steel.

Edited by member 22 May 2020 at 21:41 | Reason: Not specified

Dave

User

Posted 22 May 2020 at 13:56

I echo that thought. I wish you every happiness in your life and hope that you have many more enjoyable moments. We are probably walking alongside you in this journey tho in a different country. Today we are enjoying a wild windy day from the safety of our own home. Life holds many tiny pleasures however rough it gets. ☺

User

Posted 04 Jun 2020 at 13:04

‘That's how you beat cancer, not by overcoming the disease because it mostly often wins - but in making sure the rest of your life has value for you and your loved ones.‘

These words from your profile are the ones I hang on to, Bazza. Thank you for writing them.You are such a presence on the forum. Love to you and your family.

Shelagh xx

User

Posted 05 Jun 2020 at 09:44

It is a very depressing time Bazza, with this horrible Virus - never ever give up though, is my strong advice to one & all.

I just keep myself busy, looking after My Sheila, Radio Caroline, Terry Nation's Survivors location visit filming, dabbling with old Laptops + my fish, - to relax - an old film or Classic TV prog on DVD is my answer.

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