Told operation too risky :(

Hi Rich
My drive to the RT was about 3/4 hr from work depending on traffic. The RT wasn’t the same time every day, some days I drove back to work, others I’d drive straight home which added another 1/2 hr to the journey. Never had any problem, but like Ray I always went to loo after the RT.

Stu

If you are wanting a road map of how all this is going to pan out then I don't think you are going to find one to be honest. I realise that our outlooks are going to be very different as I am a lot older and have no kids so the future isn't something I worry about.

I can understand that this is very different for you but we all share the fact that like it or not we have PCa and have to deal with it.

I think we have all experienced peaks and troughs following diagnosis. Even without PCa none of us knows how long we have left so we can only play the cards we are dealt in the best way we can and make the most of each day.

You still have to be kind to yourself and are allowed a wallow now and again. Do you think your son might appreciate you sharing your thoughts with him?

Sorry if none of this is helpful but I was feeling concerned for you.

Kevan

I feel for you but believe you will find a way through this. We all do in time.

You say your not scared, I am a lot of the time.

I am not hard but I try to be as positive as I can and don’t want this disease to define me, although a lot of the time it does.

As Kevin has said we just try to get on with our lives and enjoy each day.

I try to live my life normally but with an enhanced sense of those close to me and appreciation for what I have in my life.

All the platitudes said I fell like a pendulum swinging from one emotion to another.

I have my dark moments too when I think of my wife and three sons without me.

It is surprising that strength comes when you need it.

I am waiting on the results from a bone scan on 26//2 and an MRI 19/3, we spend a lot of time waiting on PSA results, scan results etc which is difficult.

I dread going to oncology for results.

But most days I am very active, do lots of different things and try to appreciate each day.

I really hope you feel better in yourself soon.

Best wishes, Ian.

My wife always tells me tomorrow is another day. And often she is right and it’s veey much better. My early posts on this website were very very similar to yours. I’d lost hope and was afraid and didn’t know which way to turn. You are doing fine just by posting and sharing. We are not all hard but just “ weathered “ a bit more. Stay strong.

Not offended - you have misinterpreted! We have discussed before - HT with 37 sessions of RT is a curative treatment, it was offered to you after the specialist said surgery had a less than 50% chance of curing you so RT/HT would give you a better chance.

You might never have met the medical team but they exist - the specialist that you have met, the oncology nurse / clinical nurse specialist, the radiographers that interpreted your scans, the pathology team - all put their knowledge together to determine which treatments might or might not be suitable for a specific patient.

Nothing wrong with wallowing - as someone else commented above, we all need to do it sometimes. Tomorrow will hopefully be a better day.

Hi Rich, 

From the moment my psa was diagnosed as high I didn't have a single drop of alcohol for over 6 months when I thought my body was completely healed from the operation.  Even now I never have more than 2 glasses of beer or half a bottle of wine and never more than twice a week. 

I used to think having no alcohol would be torture but I didn't miss it, from what you read it puts stress on your body and immune system and gives you ups and downs, there's very little to be said for it except it might give some temporary mental relief.

Regards
Peter

Hi Rich,

We have all been there and I appreciate the fact that it is especially hard for those that are diagnosed at an early age. However, knowing our otherwise likely life span risks being shortened by this disease, we should do two things as I see it. One is to learn as much as we can about PCa and give ourselves the best opportunity of a balance between quality and extended life by being prepared to accept and push for best treatment as individuals and secondly to make the most of the time we have. To dwell disproportionately on our own situation means we are letting this disease rob us of valuable time and increase depression. Too much heavy drinking does not make the problem go away but can make it worse.

As has been said, your medical team you are in direct contact with and those supporting them, along with researchers are working to extend your life and those of others. Try to be less negative not only for yourself but for your family. We will support you but being more positive is something that only you can do regardless of what any of us may say.