Marje, you know that I completely understand what you are going through, our journey these last few months have been so similar.
I remember Phil being taken by ambulance, first to hospital and then to the Hospice a week later, knowing that it was probably the last time he would see his home, it's surreal, and it was only a month or so ago.
Once in the Hospice Phil and I knew he was in the right place and not once did he hanker to come home. The care is second to none, things such as bathing, there were always 2 Care Nurses to ensure things were done smoothly, quickly and with minimum discomfort. Phil was in such a lot of pain near the end and it couldn't have been managed at home. The Doctors were round a couple of times a day and you know that any medication required is immediately available.
The end is never easy but I do think it was easier him being in the hospice as we could concentrate on just being together and not getting bogged down in caring/medical duties.
It's heartbreaking. You don't want them to go, but then you do to end the suffering and I know that Phil didn't want to live just confined to a bed and totally reliant upon others.
Phil's funeral is on Friday at Skipton Crematorium, so that is my next focus, and things are all sorted. I'm trying to focus on the positives and coming to terms with living a different life now. I'm only 54 and Phil was 61, so far to young to lose him.
Take care and keep strong.
Glen
x