Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On)

All I can say is snap, same thing again our journeys with our Husband's and their PCa had many similarities.

You have a very similar approach to life as me too.

My very best wishes

Xx

Mo

Ah Rosy, that really is one of the hardest parts - but you've done it.

It feels so final doesn't it, losing that link. At least others will benefit.

My sister says the same about coming home to an empty house with nobody to rant about the stupidity of others.

You'll fill your life with friends like she has but once you've settled into your new home and your new life then perhaps a little part time job (something completely different from before), even a couple of days a week gets you out of the house and seeing new faces. Or charity work.

My sister tried clerical volunteering at the hospice where her husband died, and although it was a new building it was still too upsetting but maybe a charity shop?

Whatever you try, I hope it works for you. You've been brave enough for a new start with the house and retirement.

It will get easier in time ( that good old favourite that can be so irritating when people say it - sorry about that - but I know from experience that it's true) and the pain less sharp.

I wish you well. Fill your days with friends and walks. You'll get there.

All the best

Sandra

Yes, thank you from me too, Rosy. I am on a similar pathway, and I know it is just a matter of time before I find myself where you are now. It is really helpful to me to hear how someone else is coping. Your honesty and frankness about the difficult bits, as well as your positive thoughts, help me to feel less alone and despairing.
Thank you.
Marje

In a few days time it will be 6 months since David died - where has that time gone? - it just doesn't seem possible! My stupid brain often mutters things like 'when this is all over...', 'I wonder what David will think when he sees/hears...' and 'OK that's long enough now - time for you to come back'. The tears come more easily now as realisation begins to set in - they've started now as I write this.

BUT - I have been keeping busy. I've successfully put up a hanging rail (blunt hacksaw blades don't work very well), I've organised and had the cavity walls done, I'm attacking the garden bit by bit and sorting the contents of the loft. I've found lots of 'treasures' and chuckled my way through the kids school news books. I've bought the wood for some new gateposts and am about to replace the old rotten ones. I may ask my brother (not the dentist you'll be glad to hear) to help drill the hole through for the bolt as I'm not sure I'll get it through in a straight line - or maybe I'll just have a go myself. I can always get more if I mess it up and I want to at least try to do things myself.

I've travelled all over visiting people - Somerset, Devon, Cornwall, Nottingham, Eastbourne, Folkestone, Oxford, London. And I've forgotten to pay the Dart charge - now awaiting a penalty letter. I've set up an account now so I won't do it again. One morning I woke to find my number plates had been stolen from my car - so keeping my crime report number handy in case I get blamed for robbing a petrol station or something! I even went to check out the W.I. last week with a friend, I never thought I'd do that!

All the new series of programmes we used to watch together have now started which is tough to watch without thinking about the comments we would have made as we watched. The hard bit is having no-one to talk to about the 'trivia'. Friends say to just call if you need a chat but of course they don't always know the background to 'You'll never guess who I saw today' etc. They are very good about keeping in touch (almost always as soon as you sit down to eat but I'm not complaining). The other thing I miss terribly is physical contact - the hand on my shoulder or arm and even that deliberately wet sloppy kiss on my neck when I was least expecting it!

But I'm still here and still sane (I think) and am now booked for 10 days in Marrakech with my daughter in November! And my son has invited me to go on holiday with them next year and of course there is his wedding in December. So although it's hard, life does go on...

Edited by member 20 Sep 2016 at 15:03  | Reason: Not specified

I would say your life sounds about as normal as it can given the circumstances, I hope so, because it sounds very much like my first 6 months without Mick.

The sorting out, trying jobs never previously considered, keeping busy, talking to David and wondering why he doesn't reply. I still ask Mick questions even though I have to make up an answer I think he would approve of!..it all sounds familiar but now strangely distant almost 2 years further down the line.

I do have my moments but they are rare and usually happen if I am emotionally low about something else.

I always scoffed when people said the memories change as time passes, In my case they certainly have. Nowadays I only really have good and happy memories. Sometimes, someone or something will remind me of Mick, his wit, humour and occasionally his impishness and that makes me laugh aloud.

The amazing support of wonderful friends and family has been priceless, but I think you also have to have a degree of your own self preservation and zest for life. I am sure you will be just fine, unless of course your stolen number plates were used for a jewel heist or bank robbery then you might have a bit of explaining to do !

I am sure your lovely and timely post will really help to comfort others too.

My very best wishes

xxx

Mo

It's lovely to hear from you and to know that you are more than coping and you are trying your hand at new things. I read something today about that and it really got to me (it was one of those Facebook memes but even so).

Having things to look forward to must be helpful, and a wedding is a very big thing to look forward to

I think it's great that you post, I find it helpful to know that life really does go on and thanks to Mo too and others over the years who have stuck with us. We really do feel like a family.

Lots of love

Devonmaid. Xxx