brain mets.

Val, I don't post here very often, but I was moved to write today to offer a virtual cuddle to you and your hubby. No words at the moment can make this situation better for you, but do feel our love and support.

Hello - it has been many weeks since I last posted.  It has been a real rocky road -  after two aborted attempts at neuro surgery (too unwell) it was given up, surgeon thought we had got to the stage where he would not make it.  Mike gave up on solid food and still will not eat.  Fluids by this time was only taken in sips.  Just before Christmas he was transferred to the hospice - he looked dreadful.  Today they have started physio, he has not been out of bed since end of October - his diet is terrible - now taking fluids but at least drinks 2 or 3 cups of liquidised soups daily.  Home maybe for a while in the not too distant future - but I will need a lot of support as there is only me - no extended family. Any ideas at what I can hope for?  all will be gratefully accepted.  (We are both in our 70's).    Val

Hi Val,

I cannot offer any first hand knowledge, but I have always hoped that when my time comes, there will be lots of practical support from the NHS nurses and MacMillian nurses etc.

Make sure that all the professionals know that you are on your own and need all the support you can get.

Your role is to give your man the love which keeps him going, you should be able to leave the practical stuff to others, so keep posting, and if the professionals let you down let us know where you are and what we can do to help.

:)

Dave   

I am so sorry things have gone this way my heart aches for you.

The physio team will do their best to get Mike able to transfer from his bed to a chair, and then hopefully walking a little. It will be really hard for him if he has been in bed for almost 2 months. So don't be surprised if he looks exhausted after any efforts. The physio team will take things very slowly at first and it might take a little while.

The hospice team should be able to give you all the advice and help you need if they think it will be possible to get Mike home. They will look to see if there is anything that needs to be done at home, like providing a specialist hospital bed and air mattress and possibly using a room on the ground floor if you live in a house not a bungalow. They should cover every need including getting you some at home care help.

Has Mike indicated where he wants to be? sometimes patients say that they feel more comfortable in the hospice where everything can be right on call when it is needed. Other patients would move heaven and earth to be at home.

See if you can have a chat with the pastoral team at the hospice (the Physio, the Occupational therapist and the social worker) they should be able to answer any questions you might have.

I am thinking of you

xx

Mo

Kev

Oh Val, I am so sorry to read this. I know you hoped that he would come home but I guess in the end, the most important thing to Mike was to feel safe and loved with as little distress or discomfort as possible. You have been so strong and all I can wish for you is that you can find just a little more to get you through the coming days, weeks and months.

Sleep peacefully, Mike

hi val
a big virtual hug from me, sorry to hear the sad news

regards
nidge

So sorry to hear of your loss, you are in my thoughts.

Thanks Chris

I'm thinking of you and your family and friends Val.

I'm so glad that at the last you got your "old" Mike back and that's one of the better memories to hang on to.

The knowledge that, at last, he was able to find some measure of calmness and relief I hope will give you some comfort.

As others have said, you've had to be strong for such a long time and you'll need to be strong for just a little longer although I hope your pain has eased knowing that Mike is at last at peace.

Best Wishes and virtual hugs along with the virtual support

Sandra

So sorry to read this Val,

My sincere condolences go to you and your family

Luther