Thanks very much for this. It arrived while I was waiting to see the surgeon, so it helped me a lot to understand what he was discussing.
Just to report, in case it helps someone else. The specialist was great, and explained things very clearly. He told me that surgery was not ruled out (because I am still relatively young at 55) but that they first wanted to do more tests to see how far it has spread. So I had a bone scan today to see if it has got into the bones and will do more tests later to see if it has got into the ureters (which they suspect).
When I asked him directly about my life expectancy, he went through an online tool and we put all my data into it, and it said that 91% of men with my type and severity survive for 10 to 15 years more, assuming that all else is well. That at least made me feel a bit better, even if it is optimistic.... All in all he made me much calmer and more accepting, as I feel I am in safe hands.
So thanks for all your advice and massive support. I am much calmer now! Let's see what happens.
SJB