A Fresh Start

A Fresh Start

User

Posted 10 Sep 2015 at 14:01

Sorry you've been feeling down Steve. Sincerely hope it's just a "blip" and you're up and running again soon.

All The Very Best,

Cobbles

User

Posted 11 Sep 2015 at 11:15

Hi,

Just had my date come through for my Coronary Angiogram: November 2nd.

The day after my grandson's birthday party and the day before his actual birthday. Hope I don't end up staying in.

Steve

User

Posted 11 Sep 2015 at 12:03

It will be an incentive to lay there and do as your told and not to fret yourself into staying in !!!

Hope you enjoy the little one's day, even if you aren't likely to enjoy yours!

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 15 Sep 2015 at 22:05

Hi,

Thanks, Sandra. The only fretting I'll be doing is if they decide to recommend me to have a Coronary Artery Bypass Operation (my consultant has suggested it may be the way forward for me).

It looks like the first week in November is going to be pretty busy in my family.

As I said in my last post, it's my grandson's first birthday party on the 1st., I'm in hospital for a Coronary Angiogram on the 2nd. and my grandson's actual birthday on the 3rd.

I've now just found out that my son's wife will give birth to our second grandchild during that week also, earlier than planned because of previous medical problems. It could be born on the same day as my other grandchild!

It could be frustrating because I'm not suppose to drive for a couple of days after my operation so I'm not sure I would be able to see the baby until later in the week. Oh well, so long as we have a healthy grandchild, everything else doesn't really matter.

Steve

User

Posted 15 Sep 2015 at 23:20

I suspect the family would rather have you healthy even if that means it takes a few days for the new baby to meet his grandad - I am surprised that your daughter-in-law is happy to have you all visiting immediately anyway! Important that you have the treatment that will make you well again and allow you to get some joy out of life Steve - you have been sad for too long.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User

Posted 16 Sep 2015 at 22:41

Hi Steve,

I haven't posted much recently a bit like you tiredness has overcome me I do think depression is soooooooooooo very tiring and when the chips are down I just want to pull the quilt over my head and hibernate. Unlucky for me I can't do that with children and dogs depending on me so the old saying "ONWARDS AND UPWARDS MY FRIEND" The only way is forward .

Sometimes I think what they do with horses is the right way, for some of us put those blinkers on and we can't look sideways, sideways isn't good keep going forward . You don't realise it but you have come such a long way . Forward keep going forward.

BFN

Julie x

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

User

Posted 17 Sep 2015 at 08:15

Dear Steve,

I feel like this some days too, but I have 2 little children and my OH to look after so are forced to keep busy. However I find that keeping busy really does help, and when I have less to do, on some days, I am then looking for more to do!

My Mum suffers from depression and she too must keep busy and feel needed.

We spoke previously about voluntary work? Do you feel up to that, even if it was helping an elderly neighbor with the garden or walking their dog. Something to give you a routine and get up for.

Hope you can find some motivation soon and feel less tired.

Alison

User

Posted 17 Sep 2015 at 08:24

when I read what they do with horses, first thought was put a gun to my head, then I read about the blinkers

been the worst two weeks since I was diagnosed, all to do with the NHS post code lottery

nidge

run long and prosper

'pooh how do you spell love'

'piglet you dont spell love -you just feel it'

User

Posted 18 Sep 2015 at 12:36

Hi,

Thanks so much for your kind messages.

The way I feel at the moment is summed up by something I've written before but still rings true:

"Sometimes I fly like an eagle,

and sometimes I'm deep in despair".

I suppose many of us feel the same way. It doesn't matter.

Working in Southampton at the moment, will post this evening, if I don't fall asleep.

Steve

User

Posted 18 Sep 2015 at 14:39

Steve,

Glad to hear you have some work, let's hope it will both continue and be manageable for you

Arthur

User

Posted 20 Sep 2015 at 08:30

Hi,

Feel as if I'm being overwhelmed by work at the moment. I know that this will change, probably this week, but I'm so tired I'm not sorting out more urgent things I should be dealing with.

Since midweek (I can't remember what I did on Monday and Tuesday), I worked in London on Wednesday, Bournemouth on Thursday, Southampton on Friday, plus last minute job covering Rugby World Cup pub crowds in Reading (I turned down a higher paid job in Anglesey, I just think it would have been too tiring), yesterday I worked in Merthyr Tidfil and today I'm working all day at the Royal Berkshire Show. I feel exhausted but I need to earn the money when I can.

I want to sleep.

Steve

User

Posted 20 Sep 2015 at 09:17

sounds like you are keeping really busy Steve, I think that this will help.

Stay safe with all that driving to do.

Best regards

Alison

User

Posted 20 Sep 2015 at 09:24

Strewth Steve, all the (globe) trotting would be tiring.

Difficult one that isn't it. Take the work while it's there but be tired because of it.

You must be a good photographer though if the work is coming in.

Just try and make time for resting and relaxing - not easy I know

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 20 Sep 2015 at 10:16

Its really difficult for you isn't it Steve ? You want the money obviously but could do with a more balanced job where it doesn't all hit you at once . Keep trying , as I know I always feel better mentally when ive achieved something each day .
Take care and have a thorough relax when you get the chance after this week
Chris

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User

Posted 21 Sep 2015 at 02:16

Hi Alison, Sandra & Chris,

Finding it impossible to rest when I have to meet deadlines.

Just finished my pictures, captioning etc., from the weekend (at 3.05am) and have to get up at 7.15am to begin some more photo processing from work I did on Friday. I sometimes I'm at the bottom of a deep hole that I can't climb out of.

Steve

Edited by member 21 Sep 2015 at 02:16 | Reason: Not specified

User

Posted 22 Sep 2015 at 06:59

Hi Steve really feeling for you in your situation , its a two edge sword being busy will take your mind off your other problems but you would be better having a bit less to find time to put your feet up but you need the income , hope it improves for you . Andy

User

Posted 22 Sep 2015 at 08:10

Thinking of you Steve.

Just do the best you can. You are not superman. Is there nobody could help you with the photo processing as a favour?

You've been at the bottom of that hole before and it won't be any more interesting this time round either, so look around you, see what footholds (no matter how small) you can step into. Every little step, no matter how tiny, will eventually get you within sight of the rim.

It's easy for any of us to say "Do it", we aren't in your situation. You know we are all rooting for you.

PS Good job you couldn't come on Saturday. It would have given you even more work !!! (But I did appreciate the desire the be there, thank you)

We can't control the winds - but we can adjust our sails

User

Posted 22 Sep 2015 at 17:16

Steve

you often say that your wife feels left out of things and she doesn't work. maybe you could teach her some of the stuff you do once you get home so that she could actually help you a bit.

just a thought

User

Posted 22 Sep 2015 at 17:38

I keep offering to help El with the dog-grooming !! I want her to train me up but she won't hear of it haha. I'm offended to the core. We are turning away SO many customers she is so busy / in demand.
Steve , people keep reminding me of the good day / bad day thing. It is so true isn't it. You will get through this fortnight and then find a spurt again.
Chris

If life gives you lemons , then make lemonade

User

Posted 22 Sep 2015 at 21:21

Steve,

Although it doesn't seem it the work is keeping you busy and focused and of course the cash is another bonus , I too sometimes feel overwhelmed with work and not able to focus on Trevor but everything sometimes has a silver lining although at the time we don't see it that way. A bit like you I have to focus my attention elsewhere .

I think maybe the tiredness is making you feel that it is an uphill struggle and again I know this feeling, take heart that you have come so far from the place that you were in last year.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON

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