Just diagnosed and terrified.

Good morning Raiden and welcome.

I'm sorry to see you here at 43. You are young enough to be my son so I really feel for you. I do worry over him because of his father's cancer.

Guilty in a past life?  Well, if we were to all look at some of the things that have happened to us in this one (my grandson, my daughter, my husband, my niece, my daughter in law) then we must have been a right rotten lot of people. 

No good thinking of it like that though is there. It is what it is

What needs doing now is facing the future (your very long future - PC free)
Yes there are going to be humps and bumps along your road, but you will get there.

1) The Toolkit we all keep on about. Make sure you get it and as has been said, use it for the basis of your questions.
Take a notebook or record all meetings so you have something to refer back to. You will never remember it all at the time
Take somebody with you to the meetings. Two heads remember things better than one

2) Your sex life may be different, but not necessarily poorer than it is now. Dry orgasms? My husband had brachytherapy which he was eligible for because of his age (74) but there isn't a massive difference to before.
The suggestion of freezing sperm is an excellent one and at your age one you may think is a great idea.

3) From today (If you haven't already) then start doing your pelvic floor exercises. Whatever treatment path you take, the exercises will be invaluable for strengthening those muscles which help you regain urinary control.

4) Try not to worry too much. Easier said than done but any energy expended worrying over what you can't change is energy put to better use in dealing with prostate cancer.

5) We are a sort of online family and very supportive of each other. I guarantee that to  some extent  members have/are experiencing all the feelings and emotions that you currently have
We don't mind questions on any subject regarding PC. We just want to help in any way we can, even if it's only a shoulder to lean on.

6) Are you back under the national health or are you having treatment privately?

Anyway young man, I wish you all the best.
You've been down the cancer road  already so know to some extent what you are capable of but you now have the benefit of us behind you too.

Best Wishes
Sandra

Edited by member 22 Jun 2015 at 07:26  | Reason: Not specified

I am very sorry and sad that you find yourself here, as others have said it is not a choice thing. Neither is it a punishment if it were I think I probably would have lost the plot long ago.

As for Ladies posting, we are a bit like London buses none for a while and then 3 of us come along all at once! We are all extremely open minded and that is borne from dealing with this disease, after all 2 of the biggest and most common issues are incontinence and erectile dysfunction so we talk a lot about dealing with these. Nobody here is phased by discussing or sharing any aspect of dealing with PCa and how it affects our lives.

The pychological issues are numerous and you have alredy been through some of these once with HNL, the issues with PCa are also about how it affects you making some big decisions and how it might affect you as a Man and in your case a very young one.

Getting some of your sperm frozen is really a great idea, you may think you do not want children, you may think you might never meet the ideal partner to have children with but just having that option is precious.

If you want to read Dave CB99s thread it is a really good account of one person's journey through surgery and beyond, it is funny sometimes hilarious but it is also honest and factual. You can find it by doing the following:

1) select show search

2) Select find a conversation

3) enter countryboy99 into the posted by section

4) in the select from tab drop down past posts from the old forum to personal stories and select that

you should then get a link for Another Newbie Dan Dan slect that and read away if I was really clever i could paste a link for you but I am not sure I could do that?! There are several other threads and profiles with full accounts of people's experiences too.

Nuff from me there will be a lot of questions you want to ask in getting ready for your big consultation.

We are all here now and will be whenever you need anyone to chat with.

I just wanted to say Hi and welcome you as others have to this forum where we really do try to look out for each other in every way we can.

best wishes

xxx

Mo

Edited by member 22 Jun 2015 at 09:05  | Reason: Not specified

Thank you all so very for the posts. There is a lot of information you have all provided for me to think on, it means so much to now know I am not alone facing this and I really appreciate the time you have spent to message me and the length many of you have gone.

I have thought about freezing sperm but I already have a grown up son, so I am ok with not wanting any more.

Great idea about recording the meetings, that will save me having to write any answers down to the questions I want to ask to each consultant.

Although I ended up going private because I was not getting anywhere with the NHS GP, now that a diagnosis has been made the urologist recommended to go back with the NHS which is what I have done.

I did receive a toolkit folder when I was diagnosed which contained lots of leaflets and information I am guessing this is the same toolkit mentioned in the posts?

Hi Raiden,

So glad you have got lots of support which is how it always is here ! Just to add my best wishes and support to you !

Fiona.

my husband was diagnosed last November, almost the same figures as yours. Age 58

He had RRP on dec 1st last year.

Nerve sparing on one side

He has still got continence problems, and is on 2 pads a day. In the last two weeks, he has started to get semi erections, although it's a slow process.

But the cancer has gone. It was upgraded on pathological examination to Gleason 9, and the surgeon said it had reached the outside of the capsule but not the surgical margins.

As an aside, my husband asked the surgeon what he would do if he had my OHs figures. He said surgery every time, although that might be because he's a surgeon! My OH never considered anything other than surgery because he didn't feel he could live with it inside him

And the cancer has gone. He is alive to complain about the continence issues and the ED.

Good luck with your choice

Louise

Thank you Fiona that is very kind of you :)

Hey Louise

Thank you for the support and for taking the time to post.

My thought process of having the surgery is based on "I don't think I could live knowing it was still inside me and could activate again at any time with surgery then not being an option, it terrifies me infact"

Hey Flexi

Thank you for the support and for taking the time to post to me.

Your post is very encouraging to read indeed and well done you.

I started this thread to chart my experiences - this was 8 months post op. Things are improving slowly, but still some way to go. Hope this helps, but remember, we all experience post op symptoms differently.

http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/posts/t10395-Regaining-Erections#post124455

Paul

Edited by member 22 Jun 2015 at 22:34  | Reason: Not specified