Hello cayzdan
You must be feeling like you've been run over by a steam train. My situation is different to yours but similar...
My dad was diagnosed with locally spread prostate cancer in 2002 age 61. It wasn't operable, but he has been on and off hormone therapy and had radiotherapy, and is fit and well, although starting to show signs of his age now (he's 75). He was the sort of person who, like you, me and your brother, needs to know everything. And needs to know it now. He did a lot of searching (well me and my sister did it for him) to find info. His consultant went on two weeks holiday a week after his biopsy, so I went to the hospital and sat in the urology department until they told me the diagnosis!
Eight months ago, my husband was also diagnosed, age 58. His was operable, and he had it removed on dec 1st last year. He is like your husband. Head in the sand, wait and see etc.
There isn't really a point to this, except that it shows how common the disease is. I am sure that, horrible as it is for you, there will be some degree of comfort for your brother and your husband in knowing that they are going through a similar ordeal at the same time. It may take some of the pressure off you. And your brother will be able to pass on all the information he has found to your husband. Maybe some of the pro active attitude will rub off too.
Best of luck
Louise