I just don't believe it!

Hi,

Still resting, not much else to do when you're not really allowed to do much. 

Have had a couple of trips out to the supermarket with my daughter and grandson in her car, but once there I'm still restricted to using a wheelchair at the moment.  My cardiac rehab nurse told me not to take any chances, though I should be ok to increase what I do this week.  I might even get to walk around the supermarket!  Wow, I'm not sure I can handle the excitement.  I did have a fifteen minute walk today and felt no ill effects.  I know I have to put up with this at the moment but it's hard to accept when I'm used to dashing around everywhere.

I can't remember ever having so much time to think.  Any remaining paperwork connected with my business was sorted in the first couple of days and since then, contemplating my own situation has dominated my thoughts.  Usually, I'm so busy I don't have time to do this.  I have to say it's not been easy.  The reality of my situation is hard to accept.  I have been incredibly lucky in the past, never really having great amounts of money but being happy with what I was doing. 

Since the recession, I've found it much harder to earn a living but at the same time found it so enjoyable working for local media again.  I have made so many friends in the local community, met so many wonderful people, many of whom deserve a medal for coping with the difficulties in their lives.  My present situation is nothing compared with what many people have to deal with.  I will be sorry to lose all of that if my work disappears with the closure of the paper I mainly work for.  Makes me feel really sad.

I'm not sure having this time to think is good for me.  It allows me too much time to contemplate the mistakes I've made in my life.  I've been happily married for over 31 years, have always been faithful, have four wonderful children and now a beautiful grandson but now face letting them down in a big way.  I should have had myself checked out when I was first aware of my prostate symptoms.  If I'd have done that, my PCa could have been detected two years ago and much easier to treat.  I should have eaten a healthier diet and looked after myself much earlier in life perhaps I wouldn't have the heart problems I have now.  I made the mistake of thinking it couldn't never happen to me because somehow I would be different from everyone else.  I think this belief was there because I never did have anything happen to me.  It was always happening to someone else.  I know I can't do anything about it now but it doesn't stop me having regrets.

I'm sad that it looks like I won't be able to run the Reading Half Marathon in March as I'd planned to.  I wanted to do this to raise money for PCUK because it would have made me feel as if I was doing something to help fight this dreadful disease but I'm sure I won't be allowed to compete now because of my second heart op I have to have in January.  I may see if I'm allowed to walk it, but I expect the answer will be no.  If it's not the medics who say no, I'm sure my wife probably would.

As much as I'm feeling sorry for myself at this time, I know I should be grateful that at least I'm alive when you consider what could have happened two weeks ago.  I know I should be happy that I have been given a second chance.  Deep down, I am. Perhaps I shouldn't write late night posts when I'm feeling tired but maybe that's the time when you feel you can express your feelings.

Steve

Edited by member 08 Dec 2014 at 08:00  | Reason: Not specified

Hi Steve

Sorry to hear about your further bleeding.

As you may know, RT can cause proctitis in the area of treatment and for some men this leads to rectal bleeding. I cannot recall anyone saying that they had a bleed as heavy as you have described. Also, as George has already said, I think it is very unusual to have such a heavy bleed so soon after your RT ended.

Your next heart appointment is in a few weeks and your heart consultant plans to insert the second stent in the New Year, provided you have no further problems with rectal bleeding. However, I have not seen any mention in your postings about your Urologist having been involved with your bleeding episode. Do you know if your heart consultant has spoken to your Urologist about finding out what caused such heavy bleeding so soon after RT? Have you spoken to your Urologist?

In view of your heavy bleeding, and the recent bleed, if I were you I would contact your Urologist now, even though you have an appointment with your GP, and ask for a sigmoidoscopy procedure - a camera up the rear end – to be arranged asap to find out exactly what is going on down there. Perhaps, your Urologist may wish speak to your heart consultant about this option. Sometimes a colonoscopy is arranged in these circumstances instead of a sigmoidoscopy.

When rectal bleeding is not too severe it can sort itself out without the need for a sigmoidoscopy. However, sometimes the area of proctitis may need to be cauterised to stop further bleeding. Clearly, only your Urologist can say whether or not a sigmoidoscopy is appropriate for you but I think it is now worth putting that question to your Uro. If cauterisation is necessary this may, and I emphasise may, go some way to stabilise the bleeding to make sure your heart consultant can go ahead with the second stent in the New Year.

I would say that if you did not have the heart condition the extent of your bleeding would probably justify having a sigmoidoscopy to find out what is going on.

You will see from my profile that our numbers at diagnosis, and our subsequent early treatment, are much the same. When your heart problem is sorted out let us hope that you have a very long future ahead of you!

This is a bit rushed but I hope it is helpful for you.

All the best.

Alan

Edited by member 08 Dec 2014 at 13:32  | Reason: Not specified

Hi,

Went to see my GP about this morning's bleeding incident.  Half an hour before going to the surgery, I tried to empty my bowels and had no problem, no blood at all. 

When I went in to see my Dr, I showed him a picture of the blood I'd had on the toilet tissue (I know that seems a bit odd that I should take a pic of it but I was told that it was really useful for the medics to see what type of bleeding I'd had) and he said it was all fresh blood.  He did an internal examination and determined that I may have damage to my rectum at the six o'clock position (the side closest to my spine).  He said that my prostate still seemed to be quite swollen and generally the rectum seemed inflamed. 

Anyway, he decided he would prescribe me some suppositories which would reduce the inflammation and give the damaged area chance to heal.  He was very careful about giving me anything that would interfere with the blood thinning drugs I was taking for my heart condition.

My ten minute appointment turned into an half hour one because he then sat down to answer my questions about aspects about my heart attack which I didn't quite understand.  He's a fantastic doctor, he's always got time for you and he's been such a tremendous help during my cancer treatment.  Unfortunately, he retires in February and I will be really sorry to see him go.  Whenever I want to see him, I can usually ring up and he will always slot me in his list somewhere.  I can't remember anytime when he's not seen me.

Anyway, he hopes that I won't have too many more bleeding issues so that I can have my angioplasty as planned.  I want to avoid the bypass op if I can possibly can.  Fingers crossed I will, I think I deserve a break.

Steve 

Hi,

Just went to empty my bowels and I'm bleeding again.

I'll see how things go in the morning.

I'm tired and fed up.

Steve

Did you take a picture of the blood, think you did this before? Is the colour the same as before?

See the GP and let them see what you are dealing with.

And keep resting. Don't overdo things.

Dave