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Nearing the end ?

User
Posted 10 Sep 2014 at 22:06

Fiona,

We are so very sorry for you, you have been through a lot, and always appeared strong in your postings, be strong now as Neil goes up-stairs to join all the previous fallen, he is not now in pain, which is in itself a blessing.   

 

Our sincere condolences to you, your family and friends,  I will be adding his name to Absent Friends using the surname on your profile.

 

God Bless and keep strong.

 

Chris and Shirley

User
Posted 10 Sep 2014 at 22:22

My sincere condolences on your loss Fiona. Neil knew he was much loved and you did all you could right to the end. Remember him as he was and the good times you had before this rotten disease took hold.

Barry
User
Posted 10 Sep 2014 at 23:58

RIP Neil http://community.prostatecanceruk.org/editors/tiny_mce/plugins/emoticons/img/smiley-frown.gif Take care and be strong Fiona .

User
Posted 11 Sep 2014 at 08:58
Sincere condolences on your loss Fiona. Rest in peace Neil & God bless.xx

Carl & Andrea

Life's a Marathon. Run in peace.

User
Posted 11 Sep 2014 at 11:29

Our sincere condolences Fiona.

 

 

I seem to have given sincere condolences quite a lot just lately,

 

Steve

User
Posted 11 Sep 2014 at 14:25
Fiona and family

sorry to hear of your sad loss.

Niel is now out of pain.

R.I.P. Niel

Will be thinking of you

Carol

Steve read your post and I feel the same

If you look at the posts there has been one good man taken every month from this site alone

Carol

User
Posted 11 Sep 2014 at 14:25

Fiona

Sorry to hear the sad news about Neil, Sincere condolences.

Alan

User
Posted 11 Sep 2014 at 20:04
So sorry to hear your sad news Fiona. You really couldn't have done more for Neil. It must all seem so surreal for you and you must feel there is no purpose left. You must be exhausted and after the flurry of what has to be done now you will need to be gentle with yourself as your mind and body starts to heal. Take care, Janet

User
Posted 11 Sep 2014 at 21:01

It is shocking that even at the end, you had to fight to get Neil any kind of comfort and dignity. I am so angry for you and for his daughter that you had to think of practical matters when all you really wanted to do was give him all your attention. If it is any consolation, I have been told many times now that nature has its own way of dealing with pain at the end of life; that although the body may writhe or appear to be in discomfort, the brain has a way of shutting this down so that the person is not suffering.

You are in my thoughts Fiona. Sleep peacefully Neil.

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Soren Kierkegaard

User
Posted 12 Sep 2014 at 21:36

I have not been on the site for a few days and was shocked to read of Neils passing. I am so sorry Fiona. You were so strong throughout his illness and I know that I empathased with a lot of your feelings. God bless. Stay strong.xx

Max

"You can only play the hand you're dealt"

User
Posted 14 Sep 2014 at 15:15

Thank you for all your messages. I miss him so much. I have times I sort of feel ok then it all starts off again. The local dog walkers clubbed together to buy me a planter full of flowers and card, I've had no end of cards and messages, so kind but of course it doesnt change what has happened. Neil was adamant he didn't want a funeral, just like him, and of course I respect his wishes. He was utterly unique. Think I will have a plaque put on Clevedon Pier in his memory which I've done for my parents and my dogs. We both loved the coast and Victorian architecture so seems very fitting and easy for me to visit.

So thankful to his daughter who sat back while he died and let me hold his hand and talk to him. The front room is nearly finished, last thing he knew I was going to do for him. Walls a lovely butter-like colour, white skirtings and door so if he had come home it would have been to this. I have been laying carpet tiles furiously the last few days, no, I can't stop, I have been like that the last twenty months, hope I will eventually be able to rest.

Despite the distress in many of my posts, I loved Neil to bits, it was awful how the illness skewed our relationship and I had thoughts and feelings I would not have otherwise had. He knew how much I loved him and vice versa through it all. I have lots of texts on my phone telling me how much he loved me, I will treasure them. Whatever happens, I will always be his girl ! He was just 63.

I can't get over how lacking the treatment is for this damn disease ! I may go along to the new Macmillan centre at hospital where Neil died in a few weeks, spoke to one of the counsellors who was lovely and said come for a cup of tea and a chat. Don't want to exhaust friends with my grief.

Regards to you all, lets hope there are better times over the horizon for newly diagnosed men and more understanding of the stresses on their families.

 

Fiona. x

User
Posted 15 Sep 2014 at 06:23

You are right Fiona. The stress on the wife/family is at times as unbearable as it is for the man. This disease changes everything.

Neil was so lucky to have you in his corner.

As you say - lets hope the future brings better treatments for men and better help for them and their families.

Alison x

User
Posted 16 Sep 2014 at 21:16

Fiona, I am so deeply sorry to see this news. You and Neil fought a really brave battle and it was horrendous what you had to go through. I hope you take comfort from all the memories from your good times together before this horrible disease took over.

 

Thoughts and prayers are with you

 

Lorraine xxx

User
Posted 16 Sep 2014 at 23:38

Fiona, I'm so very sorry to have just read the terribly sad news about Neil.
The plaque overlooking the sea sounds like a beautiful idea.
Thinking of you

Cat x

User
Posted 17 Sep 2014 at 19:26

My condolences Fiona.

The pier is a lovely place to remember loved ones.

User
Posted 17 Sep 2014 at 19:55

Fiona,

Greif is a never ending wheel, just when you think it has stopped it starts all over again. I love the idea of the plaque for Neil, it will be there for everyone who passes to see.

When you are ready you will be able to stop being busy and reflect on the good times when there was laughter and fun a time before PCA.

Take care and let us all know how you are getting on.

BFN

Julie X

NEVER LAUGH AT A LIVE DRAGON
 
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